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Saturday, December 24, 2011

Movin On

If you don't live in my home and experience my life, please keep your judgements and comments to yourself. That's pretty much all I have to say about that.

Of course, your opinion about me is really none of my business. I only wish that I could live my life more with that train of thought on board. I want so bad for your comments to roll off my back without stabbing on their way down and remember that I am doing the best I can with what I know.

Okay, deep breath and it's off to experience the holidays with the fam.

Monday, December 19, 2011

The Spirit

I couldn't sleep at all last night! (actually those are the lyrics to a song from my generation). I was tossing and turning and turning and tossing all night! Lol. Actually, that IS the truth. However, about 2:00 I decided that enough was enough and I got up.

I brewed myself a pretty awesome pot of lavender tea and settled in to wrap gifts (since that seems to be the tast at hand right about now). Of course, Danielle had the tape dispenser in her room so that ended that thought. Hmmm. Well, there's always Facebook, right? Of course. I logged on and here's what Brandilyn had posted for her status:

teaching our 4 year olds about the nativity, making treats for people we love, listening to first presidency christmas devotionals...'tis the season at our house and i'm loving it!

It made me sad. I haven't been to church in so long. I haven't experienced anything churchy for the holiday season. I ached for it suddenly. Well, (thank you technology) I had a brain child! I logged onto LDS.org and there it was bigger than life. I clicked on the First Presidency's devotional and was blessed with a wonderful spirit as I listened to each of the three talks and the beautiful choir singing Christmas songs.

So, yes, at 3:30 in the morning I crawled back to bed and finally drifted off to sleep around 4. I was back up at 6 to start my day but I can honestly say it was worth it. God knows what He's doing. He sometimes has to push us pretty hard to wake us up. I now have the Spirit with me throughout my day today and it feels pretty awesome.

Thank you, Brandilyn. Thank you, insomnia. Thank you, God.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Time Out

I came home from taking my man (once again) to Bart so he can head back to his place in LA. On my way back home, I decided to swoop into Walmart and snag one of those jumbo size bags to wrap one of my offspring's gifts in. As I was there, I decided I was really hungry and decided that only cheddar cheese popcorn would do (wtf?). The only thing I could find was one of those ginormous cans with three different kinds. It was mine!

I got in my car and realized how disgusted I was with myself as I was tearing the seal off of that can so that I could pry it open and start snarfing the contents. Seriously, this popcorn was suddenly the best tasting thing I had ever eaten! Actually, it was stale but I didn't give a rip. I texted Danielle and said, "Omg. I'm very sick. I need help." I really meant it.

We both got a good laugh when she called (very concerned) and I explained the sitch. "Oh, okay, so you're mental not experiencing physical discomfort, right?" Righto, girlfriend! The evening has progressed in a very distorted and demented direction. I pretty much have completely lost it. At one point I said, "I think I'll excuse myself from this party. I'm not fit to be around right now."

So, to cap it off? Well, I've decided to watch Blazing Saddles with Danielle (who has never seen it) and Jeff. Tomorrow, I either wake up back to myself or I might need to be committed, lol. I think my kids and Christmas have finally gotten to me.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

The Most UN-Perfect Gift

I'm sure what I'm about to post will piss some people off. However, this IS my blog and hardly anybody reads it and I can say whatever I want because I'm entitled to my own opinion and I can write whatever I want on my blog.

Okay, gift certificates. Yeah, gift certificates + me = hatred. What the heck has happened to the spirit of giving? I have always been a stinker about giving gift certs for gifts. However, I feel that each year we reach new heights of ridiculousness. It appears as though Christmas has become a big cash call for a lot of people.

The merchants make out like freaking bandits. I once heard from someone who works for a UPS shipping store that very often when people bring in that packing foam to be recycled, there are gift certificates that have been overlooked. The people in the shipping stores just swoop on them and SCORE for them!! The ones that haven't been found end up being money in the pockets of the vendors. Peeps (like me) who receive them often forget to spend the silly things because they forget they have them.

I'm thinking we should just give out greenbacks if that's the way this holiday is going to shake out. Actually, I would like to return to the old fashioned way of doing things . . . I like you or I love you and I want to give you something that I picked out that I thought you would like. No, I don't have a gift receipt, so if you don't like it you can give it away to someone else who would want or need it. I'll never know the difference.

So, am I giving out gift certs this year? Unfortunately, there are some people on my list that won't accept anything else. I probably should just stand by my position and buy them the ugliest sweater I can find WITHOUT a gift receipt for them to return it and just smile sweetly when they open it with utter disgust on their face and say, "Oh, I so hope you like it. I totally thought of you when I saw it and I just HAD to get it for you. Merry Christmas, my dear."

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Yay for Brian!

Sometimes . . . okay a lot of times . . . .we get these random lessons in life that make us go "DUH"!!! Right now, I'm going through just that.

About five or so years ago Brian came to us and announced that he wanted to be an underwater dive welder. I baulked because of the danger of the job. No way. My boy was going to be a doctor or a lawyer or something prestigious like that. So, I proceeded with my "mom" stuff and insisted that he head out to BYUI. BIG MISTAKE!!!!!

My son did nothing but mess up his life there. Everything was all bad. He got asked to not return to school because of his poor academic performance (hello! My boy is NOT a "desk" kind of guy), his sweetheart and him ended their relationship, he spent quality time bonding with the law enforcement there and ended up (my bad) with the room mate from hell. Finally, Mom said "enough is enough" and Dad went up and fetched our boy to bring him home and regroup.

Okay, fast forward a couple of months. He's home. He's doing all of his stuff to satisfy the legal dudes in Idaho (and they are thinking he's all that), has enrolled in Santa Barbara to start school in January and has started taking his scuba diving classes to be ready to go. I'm so proud. Last night he called me and announced that he had just taken his written test and scored a 98%. Wtf? Brian? Really? Holy crap!

My chiropractor cited a story of his nephew that was a total screw up and then something clicked when he finally found a vocation that resonated with him. He soared to the top of his field and is now making bank. So there you have it.

My son hasn't been happier in like forever. He's excited to get up to go to classes. He's excited to have all of his legal woes behind him (and the way he's going, they're making noise about letting him off early! Yay!!) He's beyond amped to go out for his ocean dives and his Dad and I are down here to get his housing secured for his new start.

I love you, Brian. I'm sorry that I stifled you by forcing my desires for your life upon you. I'm proud of you and I know that you are going to be terrific! Lucky girl that finally gets this boy to settle down.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

My Amazing Mom

Yep, I'm mentioning my momma again. Well, what do you expect? I don't see her often and it's such a treat. Mothers and daughters should NOT be separated by miles. They need each other. Women have a different bond than men or than men and women do. Sisters and mothers and daughters have a unique bond as well. I'm grateful for my mom, sisters and daughters. I have a perfect relationship with all of them.

Okay, so like Jacob, I have been trying to see my mom through other people's eyes. Yeah, I know she has a British accent. I don't hear it but everyone tells me she does. And why wouldn't she? She was raised in England, duh! Anyway, that's a cool thing about her but there's more.

My mom is an artist. Yeah, I knew this too when when I was growing up. She didn't really paint much when I was a kid. Probably because she was a single mom working a very demanding job and trying to raise us kids. I'd like to say I was an easy kid but . . . well . . . I had a couple of bad days here and there (ahem). Anyway, my mom is a fabulous artist. I have been admiring her paintings of wild animals lately. Actually, Brandilyn asked if she could have a copy of a couple of them for her nursery. When she asked, it made me take a second look at my mom's gift. Wow! These really ARE beautiful!

My mom has a very giving heart. My mom used to work with hospice patients. Talk about giving a LOT of yourself. I don't know that I would have it in me to do that kind of thing. She helps my sister with her CSA and they spend hours upon hours upon hours out in the gardens doing busy gardening things. My sister really counts on my mom and my mom doesn't let her down - no matter how much her body is rebelling (Mom is 82 right now so she has a right to have a body that doesn't want to play nicely).

My mom used to ride horses. No, really, she rode very well. She rode jumpers in England when she was a child and was really talented. All of my childhood we had horses and she had me engaged in the very same activity when I was four years old. She bought me a pony named Patches aand I think once I climbed onboard, I was hooked. I haven't looked back. I thank my mom (and my husband probably curses my mom) for that gift.

I love my mom and I'm grateful that we are close. I try to call but really don't call as often as I should. She's always genuinely happy to hear from me and it always makes me happy (well, I tend to be pretty upbeat anyway but truly I feel my heart smile when she realizes it's me on the other end of the phone). I'm grateful for all the wonderful things she has shared with me throughout my life to allow me to be the woman I am today.


Peter Pan

Okay, so I haven't blogged in awhile and so here I am just putting them out there in multiples. Not my favorite style but it's what I get for not making myself just sit down and do what I enjoy doing. I don't even have the weather to blame.

While I was visiting my mom (I just mentioned that visit in the last post), we were chatting about Jacob and the many adventures that boy sends me on. My mom said (and she's said this before but I never stopped to think about it) that "he will always be your Peter Pan." I laughed but then I started to really think about that statement (yes, Mom, I know you DO actually have intelligent things to say, lol).

Jacob gives me a run for my money. I often get notes from school citing some melt down he had or some other naughty thing that occurred. I get frustrated with him at home because he sneaks around and does things that are so not okay. I get annoyed at him because he acts like a five year old when he is approaching 14 at a rapid rate of speed. Wait, back up, back up, what was that?

Bingo! Jacob will always be a young boy at heart. His body may say that he is 14 or 20 or whatever comes in the future but he will always be a young boy. Here's where this has suddenly shifted for me. ACCEPT what is! Quit trying to force what "I" think on the young man. Now that this whole awakening has occurred in me I am so much more patient. So much more loving. So much more joyous with my little man.

Christmas is more fun watching him with his childlike wonder. I see him often by the Christmas tree shaking presents and rearranging them. He's excited about the advent calendar. He's excited about everything that comes with this fun holiday (which I have decided, finally, is going to be fun instead of a drudgery).

Thank you, Mom, for your enlightenment. Thank you, Me, for finally listening and accepting what IS!

Sisters to Friends

I made my annual trip north this last weekend to spend holiday time with my momma and my sister. It's totally sad that I only see them twice a year. Distance can be a difficult concept to cope with - as I'm also finding out by having my daughter live a couple of states away.

Every December when I go visit we make pillow cases for my family and their's (a family tradition we started about 10-12 years or so ago), share recipes and talk about things in our lives. We just get to enjoy each other's company without the interruption of my children (which are SO delightful but they get to come up for my summer visit).

As we were visiting and laughing and spending quality time together, it dawned on me that my mom must feel the same way I do when I see my adult children interacting as best friends. I got to see a bit of that this Thanksgiving when Brandilyn was here. Her and Brian were laughing and having fun together, her and Danielle were visiting and enjoying each other and everyone seemed to genuinely enjoy each other. In fact, on the last night of Brandilyn's visit, the light from the kitchen was bothering me (my bedroom window and the kitchen window kind of face each other) and I looked at the time. It was the wee hours of the morning and there were my beautiful daughters sitting there just talking. It made me SO grateful.

When I was with my mom and sister, we shared recipes (well, mostly her sharing with me), books we were both into at the moment, ideas and we discussed some deep stuff as well - like the meaning of life or something.

I love my visits and I love my children's visits. Yes, this is truly a beautiful payoff for all the icky crap you go through when your children are going through their amazing teen years.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Lil Ol Granny

At this moment and time I feel pretty blessed. My daughter is pregnant with our second grand baby, my boy is about to leave for college in Santa Barbara to pursue the career of his dreams, my other son is getting ready to move out and experience the joy of being on his own and I'm about to have a fairly quiet home. Just the twins, Danielle and Jeff and myself. Of course, there will be the occasional visit from Skip one or two weekends a month.

I think I'm going to enjoy this new change quite a bit. The boys will both be close enough (3 hours for one and 5 hours for the other) that they can come home and have Mom do laundry and make a bit of a fuss over them but yet they can live their life and reap the rewards of their choices.

As for that grand baby . . . well, I'm (yeah, the baby scrooge) actually beginning to get a bit excited. I LOVE to talk to Brandilyn and hear how she's doing. She's so dang cute about the changes her body is going through and I love to hear how her man is just as excited as her.

Yep, my babies are growing up and life is making a pretty sweet change. I'm looking forward to chillin in my rocking chair and waiting for the Sunday phone calls, gray hair and all!

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Okay

Everything is already okay.

That right there has been my mantra today. I went out visiting teaching and our instrucitons for the message of the month was to make up our own message. My companion informed me of that in a text message that I read as I was getting in my car to drive from my yoga practice to my first appointment. She then said, "Dang, I suck at that kind of thing." Well, my dear, you have me as a companion and I rock at that kind of thing. So I guess that's what makes us uber awesome companions.

So I shared with my peeps that our message of the month was about gratitude. Not necessarily gratitude about all the wonderful stuff that we always express gratitude about but that we should be grateful for the hard stuff in our life. The hard stuff is where we learn. How many times have you EVER learned from having stuff easy? Really? Yeah, so there's the rub. Because we are loved and looked after and "everything is already okay."

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and all we have is this moment in time. Be grateful for this moment and find the hidden nugget that is there for us to learn from. Each breath is a gift. Each moment is a gift. And . . .

EVERYTHING IS ALREADY OKAY!! :)

Dog (Not)Gone

I took my dog to the vet today to be put down. I was dreading this for the last week or so. Last night I brought her in and made a big fuss over her. This morning I brushed her and loved on her. It was really odd that she had NO idea what was going on. All she knew was that I was extra loving and tender with her.

Holly was adopted by our family about 8 or 9 years ago. She's always been a bit odd but we've just accepted her as "Holly Bear". Robbie picked her out at the pet store where they were having their Pet Adoption Day thing because I had accidentally killed his other dog and felt horrible about my crimes. She was obviously older than they informed us because she has progressively gotten to the point where she just kind of hobbles around. I let her sleep in my room every night where it's warm so that her bones don't ache.

So, anything and everything went wrong on my way to the vet. My son took my truck and never came back so I had to take Old Blue. I ran out of gas half way down the hill and was fit to be tied (with two dogs in the truck). Fortunately, Robbie met me as he was headed up the hill and we traded vehicles (he can figure out the no gas thing). I made it to the vet about 10 minutes late. They took us anyway.

The vet came in and examined my poor old dog. She said that my dog was happy when I was around and wagged her tail. As long as she could get up and take herself outside to releive herself and seemed to be happy to be around me then she should just have some pain meds to ease the discomfort. Okay . . .

So I guess the emotional investment I made into having to put my dog down was for naught. She's snorning happily beside me as I write this. What will happen tomorrow, next week or even next year is still a mystery. Tonight my dog is still here. The end.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Cleanse Schmlense

I think I'm really over it . . . finally!

I have done so many cleanses and I'm just down right sick to death of them! I started yet another one last night after our final performance (the drill team) and lasted until about 3:00 p.m. today. I was supposed to go until tomorrow night. I was feeling so sick and weak that I said, "to heck with this!" and went ahead and broke the fast.

So, does this make me a weenie? Do I just lack will power? I don't really think so. I actually did a cleanse where I ate nothing for 10 days straight and after the first 3-4 days I felt fine. I know that I CAN do it . . . I just don't WANT to do it.

Furthermore, I'm cranky and it's not fair to my family plus I have a client tomorrow and that just wouldn't be fair to her for me to show up not feeling 100%. Right? Never mind. I'm probably just trying to justify eating. Let's just face the truth, I just freaking LOVE food and I'm not designed to be skinny Barbie.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Cool, Clear Water

Brian hosted a hot tub party with some friends the other night. No big deal. He asked. I said "no probs" and life was good.

Yesterday we had a hurricane of a wind storm. I'm pretty sure the winds topped 80+ mph. It was pretty wild. Actually, I was hanging laundry out on the line and it was drying in 20 minutes or less. Pretty amazing. By the end of the day, when the winds were at their worst, I had hung out two comforters and they had flown off the line and almost took me out.

Today, it was as calm as could be. Calm and warm. I had 45 minutes before the next event and went outside to sit in the sun and enjoy. As I was sitting, I couldn't help but notice the pool equipment was making a very peculiar noise. I tried to pretend I couldn't hear it for awhile then decided I needed to get up and investigate.

I stood up and walked toward the pool and could NOT believe what I saw. Brian, my darling son, had neglected to cover the pool and spa when he was finished. Our entire pool was completely covered in pine needles, tumble weed and various other large weeds. Holy cow!! Furthermore, the water level was so low that the pump was sucking air. As if all of that wasn't bad enough, the key that operates the automatic cover had been left in the key slot and had blown away. Right on.

I was hoppin mad! I had no idea how to turn on the pool water. I had no idea where the flipping key was and I had no idea how I was going to begin cleaning up this ginormous mess! I went downstairs and knocked on Brian's door and proceeded to say, "Some dip wad left the damn pool cover off and now it's full of weeds and the water level is low and I don't know how to turn it on and the key is gone!" He looked at me and said, "Sorry. That was me. I'll fix it." Right.

He went back into his cave and thought that was that. NOT!! We have a situation here, people! I searched and searched and found the flipping key. I got out that thingy that scoops up crud and cleaned up a LOT of crud. I twisted this and turned that and finally found the right knobule that made the magical water start flowing into my doomed pool. Things were happening!

Well, long story long, I kind of cleaned up the excessive mess. I filled the pool with water and the key is safely back in its spot where it belongs. My boy will have the lovely task of finishing the job and making our pool the thing of beauty it was designed to be tomorrow morning. Go me!

Passer Outer

Forever and six days I have always known that my sister passes out when things get rough for her. I've stood behind her when she passed out while getting in trouble by Mom when we were younger. Actually, that was my first experience. We were both getting the what for and Tam was standing in front of me. My mom yelled, "Grab her she's passing out!" Sure enough my sister collapsed in my arms.

Over the years, there have been numerous other times where she has passed out on me. While I was taking a sliver out of her hand. While I was bandaging up a wound she had. Those kind of things.

It appears that I have a daughter with the same issue. One day, not that long ago, Courtney was pretty sick and throwing up. I was wiping her forehead with a cool cloth and holding her and suddenly her head went limp as a noodle and started falling toward the toilet. Fortunately, I caught it soon enough so that she didn't hit. Okay, Mom is on alert. We have a passer outer.

A couple of days ago on the way to school she mentioned something about a sliver in her hand. I told her I would help her with it when we were home. I couldn't deal with it on the way to school. I also reminded her that I forget most things so she would have to remind me later. She acknowledged that. This morning, as we were loading up in the car she mentioned the sliver again. Dang! I forgot to deal with that. We need to snag it when we get home. Of course, I forgot and she didn't remind me.

Tonight she's taking her shower. I'm preparing dinner. I call the kids and let them know it's dinner time and put the food out on the counter. Jacob, of course, is right on cue. "Where's your sister?" I inquire.

"She's sleeping in the shower." Right. I give him a dirty look and head to the bathroom to give Courtney a piece of my mind for taking so dog gone long in the shower. I mean, really? Come on, girl.

Sure enough, she's completely out cold on the floor of the shower. He face is a grayish color and I instantly launch into "Oh Shit" mode (sorry but that's the only phrase that describes my panic). I'm yelling, "Courtney! Courtney!" and slowly she opens her eyes and looks at me. "Get up! Are you okay? What's going on??"

She gets out and towels off and slowly gets dressed. She explains to me that while she was showering she was digging in her hand to get the pesky sliver out and everything started getting dizzy. She sat down and doesn't remember the rest. Holy crap!

So . . . yeah . . . another notch in my Mother-of-the-Year Award.

The Joy of Sox

Jacob is a little odd. I accept that. It's just who he is and we all love him. Jacob also has OCD to the umpteenth degree. He can sit for hours and hours playing with matchbox cars. Organizing them by color, size, model, etc. He also can sit for hours and hours organizing his Pokeman cards. It kind of drives me crazy and I have to tell him to go outside and play after a bit.

Well, this weekend while I was down south visiting my man Jacob pulled a good one.

He came out in the morning for breakfast or whatever and Danielle took one look at his calves and was pretty sure that something pretty bad was wrong with the young lad. She was ready to whisk his happy bum to the ER for further evaluation (after she called me first of course, lol). So she summonsed the young man over for a closer look-see. She could NOT believe what she discovered . . .

Jacob had not 1, not 2, not 3 pairs of socks on but FOURTEEN!! Yes, there were fourteen pairs of socks on his feet. When Danielle inquired as to why in the flip he needed to have that many pairs of socks on the reply was, "My feet were cold."

Buckle up, Jody. This is going to be a long and bumpy ride, girl.

Food for Laughter

Robbie often has friends over to spend the night. I guess it's a right of passage when you live in the Room of Doom. I pretty much just accept it because I'm at a point in my life that I just don't want to fight it anymore.

He has this one friend that always brings their little cute dog with a little cute bell on it's collar. Every morning, this individual lets the dog out of the bedroom when they know I'm in the kitchen doing my morning thing and I let the dog outside to do it's morning thing. No big deal . . . to me, at least.

Well, this weekend I guess this particular friend spent the night while I was away. Evidently Brian and Danielle were in the kitchen working away and the little doggie with the little bell was let out of the room. Danielle must have said something indicating that she thought this ritual was ridiculous so Brian decided to take action (oh-oh. You know this has to be good) . . . .

We own four dogs and Jeff and Danielle own one dog. That makes five dogs that live here full time. We also have three cats that reside here with us. With tinker bell doggie that makes a whopping SIX dogs!!! Well, Brian proceeded to load all six dogs and all three cats into Robbie's room and then quietly shut the door.

About 10 minutes later, out comes Robbie, in his boxers rubbing his eyes and sleepily stating the obvious, "All the dogs and cats are in my room." Right behind him, just like the Pied Piper, comes a parade of dogs and cats.

When this story was retold to me I was in hysterics. Later, when I was out on my run I was thinking about this visual again and just busted up laughing. I'm sure anyone that saw me running yesterday was pretty sure that I was completely daft. I probably am but this time I had a pretty good reason for the hysteria.

I/we can ALWAYS count on Brian to provide a lot of humor to counteract all the other turmoil that he creates in our home.

Trick or Sleep

I informed the twins this year that they were too old to go out trick-or-treating for Halloween. They both reluctantly took the news rather well, I thought. I was so happy to be finished with this ridiculous ritual. I've always HATED Halloween from the very depths of my soul.

Well . . . enter Brian. Fresh home from Idaho. He tells the twins that he's excited to take them out trick-or-treating this year. They tell him that Mom said "no". He jumps in the middle of my business and says, "what's wrong with you? Of course they are going out on Halloween. I'm taking them and you don't have to do anything." Hmmmm . . . that sounds pretty sweet. Okay deal!

He holds true to his promise and I proceed to enjoy my lovely quiet evening home (because in 15 years we have NEVER had a single trick-or-treater and I LOVE it!). Evidently, the story goes a bit like this . . .

Jacob is running to beat feet from one house to another. Jeff (who also went with the group) overhears a mother tell her 4 year old to not run because he might trip and fall. Right on cue, Jacob is running full speed ahead across someone's lawn and trips and does a complete face plant in the grass. Nice. He pops right back up and just keeps on going.

Courtney, after about six houses starts complaining that she's tired and wants to go home. Brian will have none of this (you see, Brian is highly motivated. He knows like he knows like he knows that Mom isn't about to let the twins have the candy so that means that him and Jeff are splitting the loot 50/50 - he's right, for the most part). He shakes Courtney off of his arm where she's hanging and begging to stop and tells her to get right back to work. She does.

When they arrive home around 9:30 Courtney can't wait to get to bed. Jacob wants to tell me all about the haunted house they visited and all the fun they had. I listen for a couple of minutes then remind him that 6:00 a.m. comes pretty dang early so he'd best be getting to bed. Off he goes. As soon as they are in bed, Jeff makes a run out to the car and comes in carrying something that resembles Santa's bag. Holy mackerel! I don't think I've EVER seen this much candy in one place. It's beyond disgusting!

The following morning as soon as the twins are safely off to school, the two go through the candy and divide it up. They did pack a few baggies of candy that the twins can have upon occasion. The rest? Well, I just don't even want to know. I'm so grossed out by all of this. The candy they gave the twins will probably last until this time next year, or beyond.

Well, we ALL agreed that this is absolutely the last flipping year that those kids of mine are going out on Halloween. So, I'd like to say, "GOOD RIDDANCE TO YOU, HALLOWEEN!"

The Dating Game

As I mentioned before, Brian is home from Idaho. As I also mentioned before, he managed to get himself into a bit of trouble while he was there. One of the consequences of said trouble is that he has no driver's license for the span of about two years. Yikes! That's a heck long time for a young man. Another consequence is that his girl of 1-1/2 years kicked his bum to the curb. I'm pretty certain he deserved it, but his heart was broken nonetheless.

Well, these two things don't seem to be slowing my boy down at this point. The downside of being home is that we live a good half hour away from town way UP in the hills. It's not a drive for the faint of heart. Our road is really scary for those who aren't familiar with it. Brian has been in town interacting with the likes of a variety of females and they all seem to be more than willing to give him a ride home at the latest hours of the night. What the heck?!?

He told me he was hanging with this one girl so I thought, "Oh, I guess this is who he's going to be dating." Then within a day or two there was another girl and then another girl and so on. I asked him about it and his response? "Mom, I'm SO not into getting into another relationship. I just want to hang out and have fun." Well . . . um . . . . okay . . .

There is a part of me that is just an old fashioned girl. A guy asks you out on a date. If he can't pay or pick me up in his car and provide an enjoyable evening, well he just isn't someone I want to be associating with. Nowadays? Yeah, these girls are pretty aggressive. So so so glad I'm married (and happily at that) and don't have to figure out this new fangled dating thing out.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

A Good Day's Work

My boy is back living with me from Idaho. I've missed him terribly while he was away. Unfortunately, he found his way into a bit of trouble and now has . . . ahem . . . consequences. Not only does he had a lot of legal consequences (yuck), but he also has quite a bit of financial consequences. The majority of those financial obligations are payable to your's truly . . . me.

I've devised a plan. He can work for me at $10/hour and all the monies will go toward his debt to me. He actually went for the idea. We've had quite a few errands to run since he's been home so today was actually his second day of working for me. I came home from a rather busy morning and worked alongside him and my SIL. We shoveled horse poop, raked and loaded leaves, built compost bins, cleaned out and restocked my horse trailer and worked on several of my gardens. We got so much accomplished. I'm completely exhausted tonight but happy.

I do have to say this. I was pretty sure he was going to give me a LOT of grief and static about helping me out but he has been a pretty dang good sport. He has dove in really done a great job. Does this mean he is FINALLY growing up?

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Perspective

Today I was working at my sister's place on her books. We were uber busy because I was about four months behind (yikes!). Before I knew it, I realized that it was 1:00 and my daughter was going to be out of school before I could get her picked up today (I was about two hours away). I still had a good 1-1/2 hours left of work to do.
I began calling my son, my son-in-law, my son's friends and anyone else I could think of in hopes of finding someone to go pick up my kid. No phones were being answered anywhere. I was beginning to get a bit panicked. I finished doing my work thinking that very shortly someone would answer their phone. Nope.
Once I began driving back toward my town I, of course, encountered massive traffic congestion. Annoying!!! I was fit to be tied. Of course, I became more and more agitated and Brian (who was with me) got really quiet because he knew that at any minute, I was most likely going to snap.

And, as should be expected, Courtney was still standing out in front of the school waiting (I was 45 minutes late). She didn't have a care in the world and hardly noticed that I was late at all. Great.

The lesson learned here? EVERYTHING should be given the 10-year perspective which is; In 10 years, how important will this moment be? (Believe it or not, I was taught that by a 12 year old boy). Yeah, here we are 2 hours later and the whole incident is all but forgotten by the people involved. Whaddya know?

Friday, October 21, 2011

Not a Baby Fan

When i was in high school I was a waitress. Everyone on my shift KNEW that you only put kids in my section if there was absolutely NO alternative. I really HATED children. I swore that the day would never arrive when I would have children. Some things change. Some things don't.

Fast forward a lot of years and here I am. A mom to a lot of children. Oh, I like my own, for the most part, but I'm still not a fan of other people's kids. Somehow, I'm guessing there is a lesson for me around this.

I am a volunteer at the yoga studio that I call my Mother Ship. I am a FRONT DESK worker and I've been doing this gig for about four months. I work once a week and there is a child care person that is in charge of watching the children of various clients that are taking classes. However, I can pretty much honestly say that the child care person on whatever shift I seem to be working usually doesn't show up. That leaves me tending the front desk AND the children.

The children in the childcare when I'm doing this are usually high need babies that have chosen this moment in time to scream their ever lovin guts out for the entire hour and a half that their moms are in class. Last night I walked up and down the sidewalk for over an hour with a screaming baby. This morning, here I am walking around bouncing another fussy baby. ENOUGH!! Right now I just wish God would tell me the lesson I'm supposed to learn from this madness. I promise, I'll be good and learn quickly. Lol.

And my girls wonder why I'm not into being a fun grandma.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

The Good Life

I have this new friend. Her name is Misti and I think she's a beautiful person. She has such wonderful energy and I LOVE being around her.

Funny story . . . when I met Misti I was pretty sure that her life was as perfect as it could get. I mean, this woman seemed to exude wonderfulness. She always seemed to have a smile on her face and she was always calm and she was just . . . perfect. I've since gotten to know her and I'm happy to report that her life is NOT perfect. Just like the rest of us. I'm not happy that she has problems, I just happy to see that you can maintain a happy, calm essence even when you are in the midst of a storm. And, baby, her storm was a doozy.

I had the privilege of zoning her feet about a month ago. It was a beautiful experience. I felt a wonderful energy when I was doing her feet and definitely picked up on some disturbances that she confirmed. Yay for foot zoning!

Anyway, today she is coming up to my house to be zoned and then we are bartering. She is going to be doing some energetic work on me. I'm so so so excited because it's something that I might want to explore and it'll be wonderful to see it totally in action on ME! It seems that the more I delve into this world of natural healing, the more I discover and the more I realize how perfect and wonderful our bodies are. They are so capable of healing themselves with just a little assistance from what God gave us. Awesome!

So today is a happy day. I'm feeling back to myself after weathering yet another horrendous storm and I just love my life. Beautiful music, spectacular sunrises and the serenity of my sanctuary make everything seem possible.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Tossing and Turning

That was me last night. Tossing and turning and turning and tossing. Couldn't sleep at all last night! It was awful. I was irritated about something. Turned on the light at 1:00 to maybe read my book and fall asleep. As soon as I opened it I slammed it shut because it was so not what I wanted to read. Dang! I was a wreck. Of course, I must have fallen asleep somewhere in there because 5:00 was nudging me before I knew it!

When something like this happens, I usually get a phone call and one of my children (boys) are in trouble. It usually never fails. Oh, I have nights where I just can't sleep but when it's this kind of tumultuous stressful nervousness, it's my built-in indication that there's trouble knocking on my door.

Well, nobody has called. I'm patiently waiting for each of my children to check in to give me the thumbs up for the day. I've only seen three of them thus far - four to go.

Of course, we could just chock it up to too much caffeine (although I drank less green tea than normal yesterday) and make a mental note to lay off the stuff today. Yeah, let's go with that.

Okay, happy day! Oh . . . kids call your mother!

Martha Doesn't Live Here!

The Relief Society is having a retreat at my house this weekend. Normally this kind of thing would send a girl into out and out panic. However, I seem to be pretty calm about the sitch at this moment (Key phrase: "this moment").

Saturday the kids and I completely cleaned out Skip's shop (which has absolutely NOTHING to do with the house or where the sisters will be congregating but we thought it was a cool gesture to surprise the man that's NOT about the house of late). The shop looks pretty amazing - considering that it IS a shop, after all. I had a hot date with my bestie to go see Keith Urban (which was nothing short of amazing) so we had to cut the cleaning experience short - something I'm sure my children were devasted over.

Sunday we attacked my house. We cleaned the refrigerator, under the kitchen sink (because women DO look there) and flitted about the other common areas of the house. The twins were marvelous at digging in and helping out. It's funny because up until about a month ago my house was on the market for the past year and we have kept it in absolute show shape the entire time, which is a good thing because there were so many people that did NOT come to see it. Their loss! It's a pretty stellar place to hang your hat, if I may say so myself.

So yesterday I came home and decided I was going to attack my office and bedroom area. Well . . . I got a fabulous start and then got distracted. The computer started calling and calling my name and I finally answered. Dang it! I DID get a stack of paperwork sorted out and filed away, though. Big woot.

The sad part of this tale is that yesterday was my LAST full available day before the forthcoming event. Gasp. So it looks like this cowgirl is going to have to pony up and pull some late nighters to get this place up to par. Darn!!

Actually, the event will come and the event will go and I'm sure hardly anyone will notice whether or not my house is tidy. But, sitting proudly in my entryway is a little sign that reads, "If you came to see me, come in. If you came to see my house, please make an appointment." My bestest friend, Terri, gave it to me a million years ago when we both had little children that were constantly making it their life dharma to destroy our homes. Today, the saying still holds true. I am who I am and my friends accept me just the way I am. Right?

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Flashdance Bucket

Today in yoga, for whatever reason (because I was late and didn't hear the beginning), my yoga teacher was honoring the Goddess of Destruction. I get that on some level. Everytime our lives meet with utter and complete destruction it devastates us at the time but later we can look back and see that the cleansing was a good thing. We were able to begin anew.

We reached a point in our practice and she said, "I'm going to play the chant for you honoring the Goddess of Destruction." From directly behind me I heard my dear friend whisper the word "no". I turned around and could see distress on her face. I stepped over to her mat and whispered to her, "What's wrong?"

She said, "I'm scared. I don't want to honor the Goddess of Destruction. I've had too much of that. I don't want to hear this."

Just then I felt divine inspiration. I said to her, "I'm going to dump my Flashdance bucket of white light from above all over you." I held my imaginary bucket over her head and dumped and then (without physically touching her) pretended to spread it all around her. I looked at her face and she looked peaceful with closed eyes and a beautiful smile. I felt spiritually charged. I then returned to my own mat.

As soon as I tuned back into what my teacher was doing/saying, I noticed that she was fussing with her ipod. She then said, "Huh. I can't get my ipod to play that song. It wants the one before it and the one after it but it won't play the song I want!" She then allowed her ipod to play and the song that came on was a chant praising God.

After class, my friend walked up to me and exclaimed, "Jody, I don't know what you did but the energy that charged my body when you did that Flashdance thing was amazing! Not only did the song not play but I felt so enveloped in love and goodness. Thank you SO much!"

I won't take credit for it. I can't say that "I" caused anything. I can say that I acted on impulse and was guided and directed. I, too, felt the spiritual energy. I'm grateful for what I know. I'm grateful for the knowledge that we are all spiritual beings on an earthly experience and that we are ALL able to tap into our higher power when we need to.

Thank you, God, for allowing me to serve you through my friend today.

Monday, September 26, 2011

That Pesky Red Baron!

10, 20, 30, 40, 50 or more, that Bloody Red Baron was roaring up a score!

Yeah, those were some of the lyrics to a song that was popular when I was young. It was about a German warplane that was shooting down the enemy. Not really applicable here but the song came to mind this afternoon as I was out cleaning paddocks.

So here's a note to you, Mr. Red Baron:

I couldn't help but notice your crazy flying antics over the hills where I live. Your plane was loud and annoying. Furthermore, it was very frightening.

You see, I have witnessed a plane crash. I was in a front row seat, of sorts. The plane nose dived and crashed right before my eyes. It was extremely close to where my husband, children, some friends and I were. It was a horrific sight and the memory still haunts me to this day. Eight people were killed instantly right before our eyes.

Not only does that memory flip into my mind when I see you and others like you being reckless, but the fact that I have witnessed a mistake gone fatal makes you at even a higher risk. The energy I project is pretty potent, my friend. I don't mean to project such negative energy - it just happens.

Another thing. . . it is fall. The hills are dry and extremely flamable. Should you inadvertently make a wrong move and plant your lovely aircraft into our "neighborhood" the impact will undoubtedly create quite an explosion which will quickly ignite a wildfire that will endanger our homes, families, pets and livestock.

So, Mr. Crazy Pilot Dude, I would appreciate you taking your fun and games over to that large body of water that we call the Pacific Ocean. The likelihood of you traumatizing someone else there is much less. Thank you.

And that's pretty much all I have to say about that.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Growing Pains

I need to preface this post by saying that I have been quite a bit more restrictive with Courtney and Jacob than I have been with the other children. Experience has taught me well that giving too much too soon has yielded a sense of entitlement that is, well, it's just downright unattractive and obnoxious.

Courtney has been hammering on me of late to get her a cell phone. I have not given in. Honestly, she has no outside interests that take her away during the afternoons. It's not that I don't let her have a hobby, she just has never expressed an interest in anything. She is easily distracted and struggles academically.

Okay, so on Thursday we are driving to school. Courtney strikes up the convo again - that one that brings on a fierce hot flash. "Mom, how come Robbie had a cell phone in 6th grade and I still don't have one?" (Oh crap, here we go again). I explain that Robbie was out at the ranch every day after school riding his horses and that he needed to contact me when he was ready to be picked up. Also, I wanted him to have it in case there was an emergency (we ARE dealing with kids riding jumping horses, after all). Robert also had a pretty active social life and I needed to know where he was when he was "hanging out" with his friends. She didn't like this answer and pouted all the way to school. When we arrived at school she jumped out of the car, without an "I love you" or a kiss, slammed the door and was gone. Nice.

Another area that has been a struggle is with her hair. She had long beautiful hair until early this summer. Day after day it was a matted mess. I would often take over and brush it out because it was such a disaster. Finally, one day I had had enough and took her to the beauty shop to get it cut. She was pretty ticked off at me at first but then when it came time to pick out a hair style that she would like, she was excited and was pretty happy about her new hair cut.

Okay, so we fast forward to this last Friday. We are, once again, on our way to school. I'm happy and in a good mood. I've enjoyed watching my sunrise and am happy that her and I are not arguing. Until . . . she says, "Mom, I want to get extensions put in my hair. I want long hair like all the popular girls at school have." (Oh crap). I try to gently explain and remind her of the struggle we went through just a few months ago with her long hair and how she wasn't able to wash, dry or take care of it when it was so long. I also revealed to her that the cost of such a procedure was pretty intense and that I didn't feel that that was a wise choice. I further informed her that she was so lucky and was blessed with great genes that allowed her hair to grow so fast and that her hair would be long on its own before she knew it. Well, this did not set well with my little girl. Once again, we were in a snit and pouted all the way to school. I was treated to the whole replay of the previous day when she departed from my vehicle. Sweet.

Well, I haven't seen her since that interaction. I've been in LA visiting with Skip. I'm heading home today to see how the climate is in my home. I'm hoping that she's had an opportunity to mull it all over and chill out about it. However, experience has taught me well that teenagers don't give up. They are like a dog with a bone when they want something. Heaven help me.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Gay Rodeo

I love the Gay Rodeo. Have I mentioned that before? I mean, those people know how to have a good time. The other rodeos we go to the people are pretty uptight. They are intense and seemingly stressed out. The whole energy of the rodeo is very competitive (as I guess it should be) and . . . professional. Okay, yeah, I guess we are a professional team and should treat our performances as such. However, the Gay Rodeo has a more fun and enjoyable vibe. That's all I have to say about that, lol.

Anyway, I brought two of my horses to the performance. My team mate, Brooke, is borrowing Cowboy since her mare is having some challenges with her hip (she is in her mid twenties after all) and Cowboy is just a better option for now. Ellie, my mare, is a rockstar at performances. She just is "on" and shines and loves to lope around the ring with everyone applauding her. It's actually kind of comical to see her shine. I just love being her rider.

Cowboy, however, is young and was a bit fearful in the warm-up ring. He was spooking at the cows (it IS a rodeo, after all) and jumping at all the "new" scary things that were about. When we were lined up waiting to go into the show ring my coach was extremely concerned about him and a couple of other horses in our group that were acting up. As we sat there, I silently said a prayer and asked angels to surround the scared horses and comfort them and allow them to perform the way they have practiced. I closed my eyes and allowed the spirit to be strong with me and then projected the energy to the horses.

I'm here to tell you . . . we trotted into the ring and had one of the best performances EVER! I was so proud of our team and the crowd LOVED us! It was 9/11 and we were doing a very patriotic performance. I was proud to be a member of the Diablo Ladies Drill Team, proud to be part of the performance and so proud to be an American. As we trotted out of the ring I closed my eyes and sent a prayer of gratitude to my Heavenly Father. I knew and He knew EXACTLY why we had such a rockin performance.

Attracting Goodness

I've been a bit of a lazy blogger of late. I wish I could blame it on any number of things but the truth of the matter is that I just have been . . . lazy. What's up with that? Right?

Okay, so I'm visiting Skip and I actually have down time. He's headed off to his office for a couple of hours and I have time to . . . meditate, blog, read, nap, yoga, journal . . . well, the possibilities are endless. However, I'm sure I'll not get to half of the list before he returns. I have decided to catch up on my blogging. So, I guess there will be several entries to make up for lost time.

I've been working on myself a lot lately and I'm happy to report that I've seen quite a bit of improvement. I am making a very big effort to get back into zoning. I have put the energy out to attract clients my way and, lo and behold, it's worked. People are calling to schedule appointments. I have been practicing on any of my willing friends and family for the face zoning and I'm ready to roll. I even made a purchase and bought myself a massage table. Yay me!

It's amazing how I'm learning about attracting opportunities into my life. I was really thinking a lot about my zoning mentor lately. I've been thinking, "I really need to call her. I would really love to get my feet zoned by her." Dang if she didn't call me yesterday to see how I was doing! I LOVE this stuff. I'm going to connect with her in the next week or so and touch bases.

I am a healer. That is what I was put on this earth to do. I have great energy and I love my work. All of this has made me a very happy girl.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Extreme Cop

Today Brandilyn was flying in to Oakland to spend a couple of days with us (me). I dipped into 7-11 and scored some Vitamin Water drinks for the twins and off to the airport I flew. We got there a wee bit early (okay, like 1/2 hour) so I plopped my merry crew down in the park and call lot till it was time to swoop on my princess.

About 10 minutes before her plane was due to land Courtney broke into mass hysteria and claimed that she had to go to the restroom NOW!! I politely and calmly indicated that there was no facility nearby and that she would have to hold it. That was unacceptable to her. She continued to howl louder (okay, now you got my attention).

Brandilyn called and I put the car in gear and proceeded to drive up to the pick-up place. I texted her the emergency with her sister and asked her to be on the lookout for her. I sent the twins inside with directions to the restrooms and asked them to hold hands and stay together. Off they went. Off I went to circle around again.

When I came back around I was stopped at a traffic light. I was the second vehicle in line. The twins came bolting out of the airport and ran right out into the street to jump in my car (not waiting for me to pull to the curb). About as quick as I could blink a cop jumped out in front of my car, slamming his hand on my hood yelling, "That's a ticket! Do NOT move the vehicle, maam. You are receiving a ticket! Those were minor children running out into the street. Do you have any idea how dangerous that was?"

Okay, really? I understand the situation but did he really see what happened? Did I motion my "minor" children to run out into the street? No. Brandilyn kept apologizing but it wasn't within her control either.

Needless to say, tonight I am the proud of owner of a ticket. Yep, just add my name to the LONG list of Weltz fugitives.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Leaving it Better!

I recently pulled one of those angel cards that people have that said "How can I make the world a better place?" A perfect thought for me to ponder and I do. I was reflecting on that very thought this morning . . .

I arrived at Skip's apartment on Friday evening. As I walked in the place smelled divine. He had a candle on the warmer. Everything was meticulously put in its place and it looked 'sterile'.

Jody waltzed in and immediately grabbed a chair and plopped her suitcase on it. Within what seemed like minutes my stuff was all over the place. Makeup, essential oils, girly products and books, magazines and newspapers were EVERYWHERE!! I had to chuckle to myself at how quickly the place became "messy".

So this morning I'm packing up to go home (boo) and I'm noticing the cleaniness that is my husband is slowly emerging. I'm kind of jealous of his quiet existence here. I know that I could (well, maybe) keep my world in perfect order if I lived alone too. However, I think I'll take mi loco vida and learn to live with my own mess.

For now . . . I'm leaving his world a better place . . . I think. I gave him a foot zone, a little lovin, and we bought him a George Foreman grill. I think that qualifies. Right?

Saturday, August 27, 2011

A Highly Unlikely Source

I have been carrying this silly article around in my bag for quite awhile now. I cut it out from my People magazine several weeks ago wanting to save this quote. What's funny is that the article is an interview with Jennifer Aniston. I am so NOT a fan of her. I'm so not impressed with her acting and I think she's way over publicized. All that aside, she made a comment that i actually like.

"There are all sorts of things that are going to be happening in the near future, so I'm excited. I don't know what they are, but that's the fun part."

Holy cow! THAT came from HER? That right there is the Law of Attraction! That lady gets it! We should ALL be excited about the exciting and fun things that are going to be happening in our future. Of course we don't know what they are but that's the fun part. Right?

So there is the reason I've kept this article swooshing around in my bag for about a month now. I want to be excited about my future. I KNOW there are some way exciting things coming up. No, I'm not just talking about performing at rodeos and such I mean WAY exciting stuff. I have no idea what it is but I feel the excitement in my soul. I, most days, am bouncing around doing my job and feel real fun anticipation.

So, (with my tail between my legs) thank you Ms. Aniston for your quote. I'm glad to share in your excitement for the future. I think if we were all a little more optimistic there would be a lot more positive events taking place.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Zucchini World

Wow! Like most people, we are having quite a bumper crop of the big Z this year. That's way awesome because last year it seemed that EVERYONE was struggling with the simplest of veggies to grow in the garden. I left on vacation on Saturday and, before I drove away, I was efficient in stashing several LARGE zucchini in my car to prepare while I was away. It seems that spending time researching recipes and such is something that I get to do while I'm on vacation.

So . . . I've so far made zucchini/carrot muffins THREE TIMES! They seem to be a fave and they go pretty quickly with my fam. Last night I made zucchini pizza which the twins and I thought was awesome! This morning I made chocolate zucchini cake which, by the way, is a vegan recipe. We haven't dove into it as of yet because it just popped out of the oven but it smells fabbie and is definitely beckoning us.

Check out my "naturally jode" blog for the recipes. I'll delete them if they don't meet the standards of my family (sorry, my twins and I eat a LOT of green things and we love them so sometimes we aren't the best ones to ask).

Oh, and yes, another thing we've been doing with the big Z is putting it in our green smoothies. YUM!! Our "go to" smoothies right now have blueberries, pear, 1/4 lemon, zucchini, cucumber, kale and spinach with a few squirts of flavored Stevia, some ice, some distilled water and Wahlaa!!! Magical, mystical perfection. Try it!

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Whirlwind

Lately, that's how it's been . . .

I went on a five day road trip with my dad up to see my sissy and momma in Washington. We worked hard cuz that's the way they roll up there on their CSA farm. There was food to harvest (yum) and things to be built (well, actually that was just to school me in the fine art of building raised beds) and dirt to dump (once again I was being schooled - this time in the fine art of driving a tractor). We also helped my sis rearrange her work area which took a full day of moving random stuff. The twins worked their bums off. I was proud.

So, I learned a lot from my sister. She's a great teacher. She taught me about screwguns (I didn't grasp that one very well, however), hammers and nails, driving the tractor as well as things having to do with growing stuff. We had a great visit and then there was the drive home. I was pretty tired when I finally got home.

Then there was the fundraiser for my drill team. I spent so much energy being annoyed by it that I forgot to sit back and enjoy the journey. Dang! I know better than that. It was a LOT of work to pull it together. It was funny because when I pulled into the ranch where we were having it with my truck and trailer loaded to the nines with tables, chairs, ice boxes, gas cooking stove and the like, one of my team members came up to me and said, "Jody, I guess I've never really asked what it is that you DO? Are you like an event planner or something?" Lol. I got a good chuckle out of that. I said, "Um, no, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, you kind of put all this together and then you pull up with all the stuff. I guess I just didn't know what it is you do."

We got home around 1:30 a.m. from the fundraiser. I was completely wiped out. I got up at 6 the next morning, did my chores and got the fam packed and on the road by 2 for our vacation. I spent the first day just forcing myself from chair to chair and falling back to sleep. Today, I'm feeling back to myself. I'm enjoying the down time, wishing my princess and her man were here as well as Brian and Meg. It just feels empty without the rest of my family. I'm determined to indulge in a lot of reading, relaxing baths, meditation and long runs along the beach.

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Kamikaze Son

We are up in Washington visiting my sister and mom. We traveled up here on Friday and are staying at my sister's house. The weather here is so perfect for Brandilyn's liking but my Dad and I are such warm weather creatures we are having a bit of a challenge adapting. But other than that, the break from life and the opportunity to spend quality time with my parents and one of my sibs is awesome.

This morning I decided that I needed a run. I just get so keyed up and out of sorts that I just need to go run it out. Unfortunately, Jacob decided that waking up at 6:30 a.m. was a good idea . . . whatever. I asked him to go back to bed. My sister was leaving for work and then I thought about it. Um . . . Jacob awake loose in my sister's house while I'm out getting my zen on. Yeah, bad, bad idea. I went back into the room and asked him to get dressed and ride his bike with me. He was more than happy to oblige.

We took off and he seemed to be enjoying himself. He left me alone to think which is my favorite thing to do while I'm running. (I'm one of those that HATE listening to music. I LOVE my thoughts). At the half-way point, Jacob wiped out and did a total body plant on the asphalt. He started crying (howling) and I told him to buck up and get back on his bike. He pulled it together and complied (I noticed that he was doing a lot of checking out of his wounds - I, being the stellar mom, chose to ignore it).

A bit later, I noticed that Jacob was quite a bit behind me. I turned around to see if he was okay and noticed that he was picking some random berries and eating them. I yelled for him to stop and catch up. Now I was a bit concerned. I had NO idea what the flip these berries were. I called my sister when I got home and asked and she indicated that she was pretty sure they were Oregon Grapes (something I don't see where I'm from) and that they were okay. I'm supposed to identify the plant when I get over there in a bit.

Anyway, back here at my sister's house, I finally looked down at Jacob's leg and noticed that his shorts were really blood soaked. OMG! Yeah, I'm SO up for the mother-of-the-year award. I dug through Gail's stuff and found some spray and antiseptic stuff to hold him over. Gotta make a store run again and get some supplies to patch that boy of mine up. He's not dead or sick from eating the suspicious berries so I'm guessing they were the "good" berries.

What a way to start my day, lol. That BOY!!!!

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Blue No Glue

It's kind of ironic. I spent a lot of years standing on the side of the ring watching my children show their horses through the years. Brian, Brandilyn and Robbie have all been extremely talented riders. They have won a LOT of ribbons and awards and we have spent a LOT of money on horses, shows, lessons, training etc etc etc. It has been a lot of fun and I have enjoyed it immensely.

However, in the background, has been their mother. I have ridden since I was four (I think I've mentioned that before). My mom was an awesome teacher and she was way more patient with me than I have ever been with my children when it has come to teaching things of this nature. I decided, about 14 years ago, to take formal lessons just so that I could ride with my babies. I have continued taking lessons. I even competed in a schooling show that turned into a complete disaster about 12 years ago and vowed to NEVER show again.

We once had a gorgeous horse that we bought for Brandilyn. He was a complete neurotic horse and freaked out when a horse was coming in the opposite direction as he. We ended up trading him for this big black quarter horse. I was disappointed and didn't know what I would do with this other animal we had just acquired. I had trials with him (I got thrown off, he took off and removed one of my fingers which turned into a medical nightmare etc.) I hated him. One day, about four years ago, my trainer convinced me to take lessons on him and I reluctantly complied. That was and is my beloved Black Horse.

Last weekend my trainer talked me into showing . . . again. I was like, "IIIrrreeeeene, I'm scared of being embarrassed and doing awful!" She gently explained that a lot of years have passed and that I was much better and I should do fine. I was terrified but did it anyway.

I have to say the day was an incredible surprise! I competed in eight classes. I took home SEVEN blue ribbons and one red!! Are you kidding me? I was so proud of my big black wonder. Every time they announced the winner of a class I was completely caught off guard when they called my number.

The only thing missing in my wonderful experience was a member of my family standing at the gate and saying, "Good job. I'm so proud of you." I imagined it to be Brandilyn, though, and it made it all perfect.

We have all, over the years, had a funny saying at the horse shows: Blue or Glue (meaning he's off to the glue factory if he doesn't bring home the magic, lol). Well, my baby is DEFINITELY here to stay . . . for now.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Five and A Half Hours

Last Tuesday was a rough day - to say the least. I got woke up at 3:00 a.m. by my son requesting that I pick him up in town where he was visiting with the local peace officers (you know, kickin it and enjoying coffee and donuts) and taking a tour of the police station. Charming.

By the time I got home it was 5:00 a.m. and I decided that I should just stay up and start my wonderful day. I discovered we had no water at the house because of a broken pipe. Skip called the pipe fixing guy and that problem was solved sometime later. Turned out to be not the biggest train crash of my life.

My visiting teachers showed up around 1:30 ish and I was SO relieved (but in the back of my mind I KNEW that things in my life just seem to happen in 3's so I was on guard). We visited for quite awhile (I had a lot to say). The twins kept interupting so I asked them to please go outside and play. They did. My VT's left around 3:00 (like I said, I had a LOT to say, lol).

Courtney came in sometime later and announced that she couldn't find Jacob. I told her to go look again - dismissing her frustration (my bad). After another 1/2 hour she announced, once again, that she couldn't find Jacob. I decided to go out and help her out. After about two hours I started to panic a bit. I called my resourceful neighbor and she came over to help as well. She finally told me she was going to go saddle up a horse and we put in a call to 911.

I continued to search (we live in a wilderness area so the terrain is pretty rough in places and dangerous to say the least). The fire department showed up to get details, description etc. from me. Thank heavens Courtney was there. She was able to accurately describe what Jacob looked like, what he was wearing and where he was playing before she couldn't find him anymore. I was pretty impressed. My neighbor showed up on her horse and took off into the hills to search where vehicles can't access.

I came into the house and tried to call my bestie. I needed emotional support because I could feel myself slipping fast. She wasn't available so I called my VT, Brenda. She dropped everything and her and her husband quickly drove to our ranch.

After 5-1/2 hours of Jacob being gone, I heard the words I was desperately aching to hear, "I've got him!!" Jacob was alive and well. The search was terminated.

My neighbor had found him about two miles from our place, out in the hills wandering around lost. He had wandered out there (still don't even have a clue what went through his mind to motivate this activity), climbed up in a tree and had gotten stuck, heard me calling his name but chose not to respond, managed to get out of the tree without breaking anything and was standing in a clearing looking dazed and confused when she found him.

I am grateful that Jacob is ok. I'm grateful for all the people that rallied around to help me find my son. I am SO grateful that #3 came and passed and everyone is ok. I am really trying to find a place in my heart that can understand his random train of thought that led to all of this (just for the record, he didn't "run away" this time).

Right now, though, I'm glad to know that all is well.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Low, low, low

Caution: I'm about to get a wee bit spiritual. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Actually, there's NOTHING wrong with it. It's pretty right. And, because it's Sunday, I guess it would make it pretty appropriate, lol.

In the Book of Mormon there is a spot where the people were exceedingly wicked - actually there is a LOT of spots where the people were exceedingly wicked. However, the part I was reading recently is in the actual book of Mormon. The people had continued to become more and more wicked and then they were getting their tails whooped by the Lamanites, they were humbled and started to listen, somewhat, to the prophets and repent. Mormon wrote these words . . .
"and it came to pass that when I, Mormon, saw their lamentation and their mourning and their sorrow before the Lord, my heart did begin to rejoice within me, knowing the mercies and the long-suffering of the Lord, therefore supposing that he would be merciful unto them that they would again become a righteous people." (Mormon 2:12)

I, as a mother, am feeling this same joy in my heart. It has been very difficult to watch one of my children in particular spiral downward rapidly. I have finally pulled away from helping him out of the difficult situations he gets himself into. He has hit a new low recently and called me sobbing. After a lot of conversation last night, I put his dad on the phone. My husband counseled our son to go to church today (which he did), meet with his bishop (which he did) and commence the repentance process (which he says he's going to).

I know my son has a very long road ahead of him. He has a lot of really difficult consequences to deal with for his rogue actions and we will love him through every minute of it - not fix the problem or pay his way - just love him (which is a new concept for me).

I am grateful that we have the church and that there is help for us. I'm grateful that my son has finally reached the point where he is open to help from above. I'm grateful that we have a loving, forgiving Heavenly Father who is there for us and loves us unconditionally. I feel a lot of joy in my heart right now and I'm grateful for that too.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

EXTREME Pissedoffedness

Courtney just got home from a week at Girl's Camp. Yay her! I'm guessing she had a great time although I'm not home to hear all her wonderful stories of her spiritual fun-filled week.

However, there is just one thing that has me so dang heated up that I'm having a bit of trouble getting passed it. Evidentaly Danielle (who picked up Courtney from the drop off point) was informed that Courtney had trouble breathing at camp and they gave her, not one, but TWO breathing treatments with Albuterol. Wtf?

The Health Form that I was required to fill out specifically asks what meds are allowed to be administered to my child and I indicated NONE. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a "no meds" mom. I prefer herbs and only really seek the medical community when there are broken bones or life threatening situations. Furthermore, NO attempt was made to contact me for permission or advice on my child.

I know that Courtney does NOT have asthma. She does have trouble breathing when she gets amped up or has a cold and we just have her sit calmly until it passes. It always does. No way would I EVER give her medication/poison to alter what her body can and does do all by itself. Why would ANYONE make the choice to medicate another person's child with no permission. Isn't that illegal? I'm dang sure it is and I fully intend to address the problem

As for next year? Yeah, sorry church. My child will NOT be attending camp unless I'm there and THAT is highly unlikely.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Bittersweet

Going to Girl's Camp (the week-long camp that our church puts on for our teenage girls) has been part of my life since Brandilyn was 12 years old. I have gone every year with the exception of two (and one of those I was called but had to decline because Brandilyn chose to get married like a week after camp was over, YIKES!).

I LOVE camp! I have always worked so hard organizing hand-outs, preparing scripture study, getting ready for the overnight hike (because I've always been in charge of 3rd years) and bonding with the girls. It's been rewarding, fulfilling and FUN!

This year, however, I was not invited to be a leader at camp. I was asked to be the camp coordinator for our ward - which I accepted. I dutifully did all the tasks that a coordinator is supposed to do: collect the money, make sure all the forms are filled out and returned, keep the girls informed about meetings, coordinate (and teach) the CPR and first-aid before camp, coordinate the rides for the girls AND their gear etc., etc., etc. There's a lot that goes into camp!

We were three seats short so I decided to drive those three girls AND all the gear up to camp today. I had a lot of fun chatting and listening to music for the three hour ride with the girls. I laughed hard and enjoyed - really enjoyed - every minute of the journey. When I got to camp, I unloaded the gear and unhooked my trailer and had lunch before I headed home.

I must say that I got pretty choked up a few times. My bestie AND my daughter were staying and I was coming back and I wasn't taking it very well. Nope, not well at all. I felt like a spoiled brat who didn't get her way. I left and had quite a struggle with my emotions most of the way home.

Here I am at home tonight. I just had what I wanted for dinner (a protein shake) and I'm on my computer blogging and I am tossing a glance at my awesome comfortable bed. They are at camp with the bugs (actually I don't mind bugs), loud rowdy girls, long trips in the dark to the restroom and trying to be comfortable in that stupid mummy sleeping bag with a loud air mattress underneath.

Yes, I'm thinking being home isn't bad.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Scarecrow?

Yesterday I came home from town after a quick appointment that I had. I gave the twins specific instructions on some chores that needed to be complete and they had their choice as to which one to work on. They chose to weed the compost area by my vegetable garden.

When I got home, I rushed up to the house, changed my clothes, grabbed my gloves and went down to help them. While we were working, I noticed four large eggs set beside one of the trailers. I knew instantly that they were peacock eggs. The peacocks are nesting (my neighbors have a LOT of peacocks) and there are a lot of hens laying on eggs around their property and neighboring properties (like ours).

When I asked the twins where they got the eggs they both pointed in a different direction and said in unison, "over there!"(you know, like the scarecrow on Wizard of Oz). It didn't take rocket science to know that one of them was fibbing. I KNEW Courtney knew where one of the hens was laying nearby (and that is EXACTLY where Jacob had pointed) and I called her on it. After a few attempts to convince me that she wasn't lying, she finally caved.

Yeah, she told Jacob (big mistake) where the nest was and Jacob decided that he needed the eggs (for whatever reason). Nice.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Doin the Beesness!




Little boxes, on the hillside, little boxes made for little bees. There's a brown one and a white one and a square one and a tall one and they're all made of wood and they all look just the same.

Lol. Yeah, so I just changed the lyrics for the song, "Little Boxes" because it just seemed a bit appropriate for my new little friends that just arrived. BEES!!

The bee guys delivered these little darlings two nights ago. They had to bring them in the middle of the night (like stealth) because that's when the bees are asleep and unaware of what the flip is going on. However, when they awoke yesterday morning I'm going to venture to say that they were NOT happy bees. Their little worlds were rocked!!

We were swimming and the bees decided that the pool was a perfect water source. Sorry to say that the kids and I really didn't agree. We spent a lot of time scooping the little guys out of the water so they wouldn't drown. Of course, Jacob had to completely flip out twice when a bee was on him and consequently he got stung . . . twice.

I'm hoping things settle down a bit today. We are promised a LOT of honey and a bit of $$ for our trouble in fostering the bees. We'll see. I can say this, though. When I go for my morning walk along the trail that goes below this area, I really feel a surge of energy as I can hear the hum coming from the boxes up above. It's a good thing and it totally makes me smile and appreciate God's creations a bit more.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Bumpy Summer

Summer vacation is off and running. It's been a rough first week, to say the least. First, for whatever reason, I thought it would be okay to go out in the mornings and do my "thing" (aka yoga and ride my horse and visiting teaching) and then come home and find the perfect twins dressed, fed and doing their minimal list of chores that I've left for them. NOT!!!


I came home to chaos on Monday and Tuesday and by Wednesday I decided to start waking the darlings up and taking them with me each morning. It sucks beyond all suckage but it's the way I have to roll. Courtney says this is the worst summer EVER. Amen! But really . . . look at this . Look at what Jacob did to my (Brandilyn's) cat!!! I know this is freaking hilarious but . . . really?

Okay, so there has been SOME fun. Like yesterday when I was watching Ava we opened up the pool and the kids all played. Of course, that's when I discovered that I've been a rather neglectful parent. Courtney's swimsuit is at least three years old. We scooted out today and snagged her a new one. She is most excited now to have something new to wear to camp in a week.
So, I think Jacob going back to summer school and me just learning to constantly have kids in tow is how this family is going to survive this summer. I've always been a mom that LOVES having the babies home from school but now I think I'm finally understanding how a lot of moms count down the days till school starts again.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Rockin Livermore!

Our drill team rocked the house last Thursday night (the 9th). We actually all looked great and were in sync. This post is short and sweet but here's the link to our performance if you feel like taking about 8 minutes out of your life to watch. I'm one of the ones on a paint horse. See if you can figure out WHICH paint horse I'm riding, lol.

http://www.youtube.com/user/rpbandit

One of the coolest things was AFTER our performance. We went back to our trailers and a whole crowd of people flocked over to take our pictures and asked us to pose with their children. I felt like Britney Spears (almost)! It was a really fun evening. The only regret I have was that I had to dash off to do an airport pick up and wasn't allowed to stick around and celebrate with my girls. Of course, the prize at the airport was my princess and I wouldn't have missed that for all the glory in the world.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Wedding Bliss

Yesterday Danielle and Jeffrey got married. Our family was all there (minus Jacob who was enjoying his last day of school). They got hitched at the courthouse and I was so impressed with how nice they made the event there. They had a little arch all decorated up and they had pews for all of us family to sit and . . . well, it was just as nice as it could be.

Today, we had the reception. We had originally planned to have the party up here at our place but experience has taught me that any event held at our place is almost certain to be ruined with the excessive winds that we tend to have. We moved the festivities to our church in town.

Hahaha! Mother Nature sure got the last laugh. The weather has been absolutely stunningly gorgeous of late and today, of all days, it was windy and nasty cold. Fortunately, most of the people and cetainly all of the family, didn't let a little wind and cold ruin the celebration. Everything turned out pretty well. We had food. We had cake (amazing cupcakes). We had dancing. We had a dj (THE Brian Paul Weltz). We had entertainment (Jacob and Brian displayed their break dancing skills). We had family and friends and felt lots of love and support.

When we got home, we were more than certain that we had made the right choice. The winds were absolutely howling (like a hurricane, as my BFF pointed out) and it was/is bitter cold. It was a relief to get the vehicles unloaded and bundled up in our cozy home. A few of us are venturing out in a bit to soak in the hot tub. Oooh lala!!

The bride and groom? Well, they are headed to Vegas tomorrow for a week honeymoon. Yay for Danielle and Jeff! We love you guys!

Monday, June 6, 2011

Today Just Rules!

Hahaha. My drill leader texted me today and asked what the heck I was in such a great mood about. Well . . . I'll tell you:



  • I scored a cute pair of white jeans for just $11.99 at Kohls to wear for my drill performances (I thought I was going to pay upwards of $80 or more)


  • I got a pedicure and wax and I feel pretty


  • I get to spend some time at home (something I cherish)


  • The sun is trying to come out


  • I got trained for my new "job" today (working front desk at the Dog)


  • I have good friends and family that love me and allow me to have my "moments" without judgement
Yeah, that's a nice start for now. This is me soaring across the sky like a firework. I'm grasping for the positive and holding onto it. I'm happy for the little things that are right in my life right now. Could this day possibly get any better? You bet your bum it will (it's only 5:00 in the afternoon!).

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Rock Bottom!

It's been a rough few days. I keep thinking it's gonna get better and I just keep sinking deeper into the muck. I made the comment yesterday, "Well, the good news is that when you are finally as low as you can go there's only one place to go. UP!!"


Then I went and saw that movie that's out right now, Bridesmaids. Okay, okay, okay, I know it's rated R. Cut me some slack. That movie was downright fricking hilarious! Not only did it lighten my mood, but it just resonated with how I felt about my life right now. I laughed my fool head off!


Yes, there's a lot of crap to deal with today. A LOT, I tell you! However, I honestly feel that I've about hit the absolute bottom. I am rejoicing!! So, Baby, you'd better look out cuz this girl is gonna be flying like a firework on the freaking Fourth of July! Let the games begin!

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

A Wee Bit Edgy

I feel like, once again, I have a LOT on my plate right now. Danielle and Jeff are getting married in about 10 days, I have three drill performances before that date and numerous (it seems) practices and I have an important court date with Robbie next Tuesday. I'm feeling stretched quite thin. In addition, I'm trying to get going on a couple of other "projects" that I'm feeling pretty good about - but they, too, require a large piece of me. Today, I'm on my way up to work on my sister's books for her business. Ahhhh!!!!

So, I was chatting with a friend on the phone last night and when I mentioned that my daughter was getting married next Saturday she had to say those words that I HATE!! "Oh, but this is Skip's daughter from his first marriage, right?" Like, that makes her null and void?

Wtf!?!?! I have been in Danielle's life since she was nine months old. I have had the privilege (or otherwise, lol) of raising her since she was about two. She was with Skip and I full time until she turned 18 and went off to BYU. So, how the heck does that make her any less valid as my daughter? It's like I mentioned before about people and their ridiculous comments about my "adopted" children. So, I will say it again . . . YES! She IS my daughter!!! Yes, she has someone else she calls "mom" as well (I have never asked or encouraged Cory or Danielle to call me "mom" because they have one already but Danielle does refer to me as her mom. And, oh for the record, I get along with her mom quite well. We are great friends). I love her the same as I do my other children.

So, there it is. I still have a lot to do to prepare for the reception. I still have a lot of emotions wrapped up in watching another one of my daughters take this big step in life. I still look forward to watching the years unfold and seeing what kind of wonderful life she and her husband will make together. I still am gaininig another "son". I'm still a proud mom and, yes, I DO have pictures. Here, I'll share one.



Sorry, D, but this IS my favorite one and this IS my blog so even though it is "Your Day, Your Way" I get the final say here, lol.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

No! Not the Pizza!

This weekend I had to make a trek up to Idaho to take care of some family business. Skip was in charge here at home with Robbie and the twins. Of course, when Dad is in charge things are always run a bit different. No probs, though, just different.

This morning, I walked into Jacob's room as he was getting ready for school to prod him along. This is what I saw:

Yeah, we've seen this kind of thing before crop up on Jake. At one point it was all over his body and we assumed he had chicken pox so we kept him from school for four days (what a nightmare THAT was!). The rash is itchy and looks like he's got the the plague.

Anyway, I asked him what he had different this weekend than when I'm in charge. He quickly (too quickly, lol) replied, "Peetha!" (you have to remember that Jacob has a lisp because of his lazy tongue).

Pizza? Could it be that he's allergic to pizza? Well, from the schooling that I've taken over the last three or four years that is a very real possibility. Dairy - check. Gluten - check. Processed meat - check. Since I don't give my children dairy I finally concluded that this might be the culprit. Of course, since Papa Murphy's probably has "secret" ingredients, it could be any number of problems. Answer? Keep the child away from pizza.

Sorry buddy. It's okay, we'll make your sister abstain as well.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Megsie!

Can I just say how much I adore my son's girlfriend? Megan has been the best thing that has ever happened to my rogue son. She has pushed him to try to become the best he can be. Our whole family just LOVES this girl!

A cool thing about Megan (amongst millions of cool things) is that she is an animal lover like most of the rest of us (except my husband). More specifically, Megan loves dogs (that's okay, Brandilyn/cats, Jody/horses, Brian/reptiles etc.). Brian is always wanting to get Meg a dog but, like Brandilyn and Dave's situation, this is NOT the time in their lives to have a dog.

My resourceful son found an AWESOME alternative to the problem . . . volunteer at the animal shelter as a dog walker! Brilliant! Now, him and Meg go over there whenever they can and walk dogs. Bri took this gorgeous picture of Meg a couple of days ago and I just LOVE it!

Brian, all I have to say is that if you EVER break up with this girl, we are keeping her and tossing YOU back, lol!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

On the Cover of the Rolling Stone!

I'm a proud sister and daughter! My mommy sent me this in the mail. This is the CSA farm that my mom and my sister started together. My sister had a "vision" and has followed her dream with my mom by her side and they have built it up to this very successful business!

My sister actually called me about a week or so ago and told me how she called the paper and mentioned her farm to them. She sent them photos and they were so impressed with her and her photos that they featured them on the FRONT page and in FULL COLOR! Can you imagine that?

I have to say that a bit of envy is mingled in with the pride I have for them. You see, my sister and I both were starting our businesses together at the same time. Her's took off and mine flopped on it's face and died. We both approached with the same enthusiasm and drive. I'm happy for them, though. I truly am. I only wish I lived closer so that I could partake of the bounty of my family's business.

So . . . Yay Mom and Gail! I'm proud of you guys and I love you to bits!!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Lighten It Up!

Today, I'm gonna change it up a bit. I'm gonna kick up my heels and be rogue. I'm just not gonna let the daunting schedule of the day get to me. Nope, not today!

I'm "supposed" to go take my lesson on Black Horse, leave my lesson early to go watch Ava's performance on her last day of school at her pre-school, have an hour of "wtf" (that would be an hour where there is nothing to do but I live too far away to go home), meet two of the sisters I visit teach for lunch (I hate doing lunch for VT - I hate the whole food world right now), take Ava to her riding lesson, leave early to pick up Courtney from school, go teach my Activity Day girls at the park (yum, we are making ice cream in a bag and playing volleyball) and then come home and try to be a mom with the whole dinner/homework/bedtime gig.

However . . . I've decided to blow off my lesson and see if my trainer can do it tomorrow and just go for a nice vigorous walk this morning to clear my head (I've got a bit on my mind right about now), go watch Ava's performance, spend that hour gathering supplies for later, go have lunch with the girls and enjoy the experience, blow off Ava's lesson till tomorrow when we can take it together, go play with Ava at a park somewhere, pick up Court from school and then go do my teaching gig at the park before I head home. Doesn't that sound more relaxed and sane? Yeah, I thought so too.

Now . . . to see if my trainer will be on board with the scheduling change.

I'm not into taking life too serious. I like to be light and enjoy (sometimes too much, lol). Lately, the burdens of a few things have just turned me into this ogre that I don't want to be. I think a walk, time playing with my grand daughter and having lunch with my friends might be a nice way to switch it all up. Right?

Monday, May 23, 2011

Backbone

There arose a situation this weekend where someone, once again, took gross advantage of me. They broke my trust and hurt me and could have done grave damage to my family and our home.

I was hurt and venting to Danielle and she did another quick bum kicking to get me moving in the right direction. After hearing it from her, I bucked up and told this individual off. After I got going, I was unstoppable! I was insanely proud of myself. They kept coming back and trying to play on my sympathy but I wouldn't have any of it. My daughter stuck with me the whole evening coaching me and she even ended up getting a phone call from this person and she let him have it as well.

Today is a different day. I'm cooled off and I'm a bit softer again. Still, not allowing this person to walk all over me anymore, though. I'm trying to make some serious decisions and Skip and Danielle are on my side helping me through it.

This person endangered everything my hard-working husband has spent his entire life building up. They endangered the safety of one of my children - heck, all three of my children at home, for that matter. I need to be tough.

I remember, growing up, my mom always gave me heck about the fact that I NEVER stood up for myself. People have walked all over me my whole life. I've always tried to believe the absolute best in everyone and it always floors me when their ugly side is revealed to me. It hurts - always. I don't want to be this soft hearted person, but it's the way I was born. It's who I am.

I'm grateful for those in my life that give me the backbone I need. I'm grateful that they are there to be the part of me that I'm just not capable of being alone. I love you guys!!