Friday, June 22, 2012

Just Dreamin'

I'm going on a perfect vacation.  Somewhere with warm weather, quiet, beaches, gentle breezes, no phones, no internet.

I just want to take the first few days to "arrive" and unwind.  Sleep in, lounge around and just listen to the ocean and the birds.  I want to take as many books as I want and just start delving into all of them and read to my heart's content.  I want to take long naps in the hammock without anyone nagging or pressuring or placing any guilt whatsoever on me.  I want to walk along the beach and just sit whenever the mood strikes me and meditate for as long as I desire.

After I have completely let go, I want to slowly start moving into my yoga practice.  No pressure.  No expectations.  I will practice as much or as little as I desire on the beach at whatever time of day I feel the inclination.  I will then, again, slip into deep meditation and contemplation.  Here's where my walks alone will increase in intensity.

I will eat any food I desire without guilt.  I will drink delicious juices and beverages that make me smile (non alcoholic because I want my mind clear).  Herbal teas will be consumed throughout the day as well.  Chocolate?  Absolutely!  Fresh fruit?  Wouldn't be a vacation without it.  Breads?  Screw the whole "gluten" ban - I'm going for it!

As for my return trip ticket?  Open ended, of course.  This vacation may or may not take a very long time.  It's much deserved and, damn it, I'm not depriving myself of one single indulgence.

The only ones of my family that will accompany me are the ones who solemnly swear that they will honor my space and my quest for personal and mental well being and have the same desire for themselves.  Sadly, I don't think anyone will be joining me.  Lol.

Monday, June 4, 2012

Outta the Comfort Zone

I've been in school for 5-1/2 months now for yoga teacher training.  It's been a safe little place to reside, I've decided.  There was our little group of eight and we just taught each other.  We would make up sequences when we were asked and just teach the group.  It was nice.  We had lectures and we would all just get to sit and listen and take notes.  It was easy.  We would be given assignments to read books and we just got to go home and read.  It was great.  We were given assignments to write essays and a few different topics so we would sit at our computers and research and write.  No big deal.

Yesterday, however, was our final.  We were divided into two groups of four and told that we were each to teach the public.  There was a beginners class (my group) and a Flow Level 2 class (not my group).  We were then each given a portion of the class to teach.  The assignment went out about two or so weeks ago and didn't seem like a big deal at the time.  My portion was the stretching and closing part.  No biggie.  I got this.

So the time came for the class.  I was blown away at how many people were crammed into the studio to support us graduates.  Our class ALONE had 25 or so people in it.  I was so proud of my peers.  They taught well and seemed to be in control of their universe.  Then . . . well, then came my part.  I honestly thought I was okay until it came time to actually start teaching.  I was nervous and felt like my brains froze up.  I know I taught but I honestly don't remember all that I said.

When the class was over lots of people came up to us and said that the class was amazing.  They were giving us a lot of positive feedback.  I'm pretty sure it was more for the sequencing before mine but I was glad that they appeared to have liked it nonetheless.

Tonight we get the critique from our teachers on how we did.  I have definitely wandered out of my comfort zone.  I like it here but I'm a little nervous about how I'm going to come off to people from here forward.  If my husband is like my friend's husband who graduated in the class before mine, I'm going to hear "well now you're a teacher.  Get out there and teach!"  Lol.