Saturday, July 28, 2012

Lost Yoginni

I did it!  I finished my week of restorative yoga teacher training (applause for that!).  It was a freaking hard week on the fam but I'm so glad I completed what I set out to do.  After a "project" I will have my certificate and badda bing badda bang!

Here's the rub . . . last night as I was teaching the candlelit flow class at the Dog, it dawned on me that I'm a pretty crappy teacher.  I felt completely out of sync (again) and got frustrated with myself.  To boot, there was a skinny, fit and extremely competent woman practicing that gave me dirty looks and rolled her eyes at my sequencing.  Way to make a new girl feel competent, Miss Yoginni!!  Okay, I'm not the thinnest thing around (I'm downright FAT) and I'm not the most accomplished yogi (only 8 years under my belt) and I'm not the best teacher (been certified for a whopping 2 months) but, hell, I was there giving it a go!

I couldn't stand the sound of my voice and I felt like a big fat marshmallow up in front attempting to demo the poses as I was going along (there were people in the class that have never practiced before and I was so proud of them).  There was a man that informed me, after class, that I had missed a side on one of my segments (he was right).  My playlist sucked.  Does this mean that the bad stuff is over and the experience part of all of this is about to settle in?  Who knows!!

I do know this. . .I don't EVER want to be the kick ass yoga teacher.  Leave that for the fit skinny hot yoga teachers.  I DO want to help people but seem to hit a wall everywhere I go.  I spent countless hours getting certified for zoning of all shapes and sizes (face, feet and back) and have absolutely ZERO clients.  Waste of time.  So . . . now my quest is to go out and figure out what it is I'm supposed to do.

I love my Monday night Yoga Plus class but I bombed big time there this last Monday (way to go, Sunshine).  I really would like to have more people in large bodies come join me but that doesn't seem to be the case. So now the quest seems to be this . . . find an expert that can market my happy self and see where the rainbow takes me!  TaaDaa!

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Working Single Mom

To all you working single moms out there I tip my hat to you, I salute you, I praise you.  Wow, you do have a "hard life" (a Courtney phrase - she has exclaimed on multiple occasions).  My mom was a working single mom all through my childhood and I really don't know how she did it.  Wait . . . yes I do.  She was a GENIUS at getting her kids to pick up the slack.  Something that is seriously lacking in our modern day culture.

I have been taking a teacher training course up in San Francisco this week for my yoga.  I leave my home at 8:00 am and return around 6:30 pm.  When I get home the LAST thing I want to do is put dinner together (thank heavens Danielle has been making food that the twins will eat), feed my animals or do any other chores that are related to being the mom about the compound.  I'm straight up tired!

When I was younger Skip and I both had full time jobs (he still does but still lives in LA in his apartment).  We worked our tails off and came home and enjoyed the company of each other and just kicked it in our duplex.  We would go on walks around the neighborhood.  Life was guut.  I liked it like that. I loved my job and I loved my time away from my job.  I felt my life was a good balance.  Of course, children were never a consideration at that time of my life (what was I thinking??)

Now?  Different game.  I don't know how I could EVER make this life of mine happen while being gone all day.  This sucks!!  I see "chores" stacked all over the place for me to tend to this weekend.  When Danielle said to me last night, "remember, we have a date on Saturday", I almost cringed.  I quickly thought, "What the hell did I commit to now?"  I then remembered that we are taking a yoga class together Saturday morning.   I was relieved.  However, this weekend looks scary with all the "catch up" I have to do from not being around this week.

I have two more days of this crazy schedule.  I LOVE what I'm learning.  I'm pretty proud of myself for learning how to maneuver on public transportation and I'm grateful for all the support that Danielle and Brian are giving me from the home front.  I'll be happy to return to my "normal" (if there really is such a thing) life when this is over.