Lost Yoginni

I did it!  I finished my week of restorative yoga teacher training (applause for that!).  It was a freaking hard week on the fam but I'm so glad I completed what I set out to do.  After a "project" I will have my certificate and badda bing badda bang!

Here's the rub . . . last night as I was teaching the candlelit flow class at the Dog, it dawned on me that I'm a pretty crappy teacher.  I felt completely out of sync (again) and got frustrated with myself.  To boot, there was a skinny, fit and extremely competent woman practicing that gave me dirty looks and rolled her eyes at my sequencing.  Way to make a new girl feel competent, Miss Yoginni!!  Okay, I'm not the thinnest thing around (I'm downright FAT) and I'm not the most accomplished yogi (only 8 years under my belt) and I'm not the best teacher (been certified for a whopping 2 months) but, hell, I was there giving it a go!

I couldn't stand the sound of my voice and I felt like a big fat marshmallow up in front attempting to demo the poses as I was going along (there were people in the class that have never practiced before and I was so proud of them).  There was a man that informed me, after class, that I had missed a side on one of my segments (he was right).  My playlist sucked.  Does this mean that the bad stuff is over and the experience part of all of this is about to settle in?  Who knows!!

I do know this. . .I don't EVER want to be the kick ass yoga teacher.  Leave that for the fit skinny hot yoga teachers.  I DO want to help people but seem to hit a wall everywhere I go.  I spent countless hours getting certified for zoning of all shapes and sizes (face, feet and back) and have absolutely ZERO clients.  Waste of time.  So . . . now my quest is to go out and figure out what it is I'm supposed to do.

I love my Monday night Yoga Plus class but I bombed big time there this last Monday (way to go, Sunshine).  I really would like to have more people in large bodies come join me but that doesn't seem to be the case. So now the quest seems to be this . . . find an expert that can market my happy self and see where the rainbow takes me!  TaaDaa!