Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Lost Child

Today after Seminary, Jacob and I decided to take a little "look see" at Target.  Actually, I needed to get some things and I had about an hour to kill before my next appointment.  Jacob starts school (applause for that!) tomorrow so today's the last day that he's stuck to my side.

I got well into the store when Jacob declared that he had to use the restroom (he's 14, so I'm good with letting him go off on his own) so off he went and off I went to do my thing knowing that he would be fine.  Right?  I so wish that were the case.

After my shopping chores were complete (only Brandilyn would get how long a trip in Target actually takes me) I proceeded to the checkout station.  Still my son had not materialized.  I was getting a wee bit concerned.  I parked my cart and made two laps (yes, TWO) around the store and my search still had not yielded said child. 

I took my stuff out to my car (hoping that maybe he had decided to meet me out there) and he was nowhere to be found.  I got more than a little concerned (Jacob looks like a 10 year old and has the mental maturity of a 4 year old - no joke).

I went back into the store and finally went over to the customer service and expressed my fears.  She made a storewide announcement and all employees were immediately on full alert.  The woman then asked me what he was wearing and I described that he was wearing:  a Red DC t-shirt with khaki shorts.

She said, "Are you sure that he wasn't wearing an orange shirt?  Does he had long hair and he's pretty thin and tall?"

I thought she was being a jerk and I tried to calmly but firmly tell her "no" and, once again, repeated what he was wearing and what he looked like.  Just then a young man of about 19 years old (right?) wearing an orange shirt with long straggly hair walked around the corner.  She pointed at him and said, "Maam, isn't that your son?"  I almost burst into full on laughter (if I hadn't been concerned for my child, I actually would have) as I thought "Hell no!  If THAT was my child, I would have walked out and been grateful for the break!"  Sorry, but I have older rogue boys that really test every ounce of patience I have EVER possessed.

Just then, someone came over the speaker system and announced that they had a boy named "Jacob" that was not accompanied with a parent.  I went rushing back to the back of the store and heard two employees arguing, "No, that's NOT him!  His mother was adamant that he was wearing a RED shirt!"

Yeah, that was my son, all right.  The one with a green shirt and brown shorts on.  Ahem.  Jacob then said to me, "Mom, I had the red shirt on YESTERDAY!"

Note to self:  Pay attention to what your children are wearing each day.

Oh, where was my child one may ask?  Yep, "distracted" in the video game area.  Nice.

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Hostile Takeover

It's Saturday and I have NOTHING on my schedule for the day.  Woot woot!  Robbie, Danielle, Jeff and Courtney are all gone and it's just Jacob and I.  The only gig is that I have some guy coming over to take a peek at my AC that doesn't work.  When he called to confirm the appointment yesterday, I couldn't help but notice that he had a fairly strong German accent.  Holy wow!  So, yeah, that is my only gig for the day.

Last weekend, when I got home from Idaho, I kicked all the riff raff (i.e. party evidence and trash from the teenagers who have been having too good of a time at MY expense.  No more, Suckers!  You're so outta here) out of my basement and I am ready to fully take over.

I have ordered a new rug for my upstairs front room and am moving that one downstairs.  I'm getting some cheapy ladders and making some cool ass bookshelves for my yoga reference books.  I'm putting up some of my art that makes me happy and I'll be keeping a chair by the door so that I can go and meditate on the porch outside.  I even ordered a table to put down there for me to sit and work on my yoga sequencing stuff (yeah, I still can't just walk into a class and be ready to teach on the fly).

Yes, a person will ONLY be allowed into my basement haven by invitation.  I already royally pissed Rob off by locking all access to said "cave".  Of course, he found a way to break in so we'll have to work on that a bit.

I'm just so happy to be finally zenning out my space and my life and myself again.  It feels wonderful to be taking charge of my life!

My Yoga Playlist Dilema

Holy cow!  Welcome back (that was directed at me since I seem to wander off into Where Ever Land from time to time).  

Lately, my obsession (because there always seems to be something that occupies Sunshine's life) is teaching yoga.  I have jumped in full speed ahead and really seem to love it.  I was a wee bit nervous the first couple of times that I walked into a class and saw students there ready for ME to teach them.  The more classes I teach the less nervous I seem to be when I show up.

However, here's my hiccup.  Playlists.  I talked to a fairly new teacher and she told me she has like about 10-15 different playlists on her iPod so that she always has something different to play.  Wtf?  Are you kidding me?  I am happy to now have 5.  Yeah, that's right.  FIVE!.

I've been out on the "net" looking for ideas for playlists and, when I come across one that seems to be attached to a cool yogi, I start listening to the music and YUCK!  It's so not my vibe.  Another teacher recommended that I listen to Pandora and get ideas from there.  My problem there was that I just didn't now what to put in as my springboard song.  

So . . . in the spirit of what I would like to see out there, I've decided from time to time to post my own playlists in order to maybe help some other new (or seasoned) yoga teacher come up with inspiring music.  I don't tend to be a Top 20 kind of girl but I like to pepper my class with a bit of that  from time to time.  

For this week I have:

Dreaming by DJ Free
Equinox by DJ Free
Soaring by DJ Free
*These were my centering and warm-up songs and I just LOVED this CD
Amazing - Seal (Love Seal and, yup, I just jumped right in!)
Trance Dance (just a random CD that was laying around)
Crazy - Seal
Beautiful Lovely - The Deadbeats
Island in the Sun - Weezer
Mission Impossible Theme - Limp Biskit
Thunder Cloud - Karunesh
Sunrise - Norah Jones
Sofa Rockers - Sofa Surfers
Yoga Moods (random CD again - no clue)
Your Body is A Wonderland - John Mayer
Trance Dance (Unknown again - it made a sweet 5 minute Savasana, though)

If anyone that happens to pop into my blog knows of a good place to tap into to get really awesome music would you please let me know?  I really don't see any harm in sharing.  My classes are 1-1/2 hour so my playlists are a wee bit longer than some.


Thursday, August 9, 2012

Skinny Bitch

I have a confession to make.  For most of my life I have been blessed with a thin body.  Athletic and fit.  I was (I hate using the word "was" but it's now a fact) a runner, bicyclist and yoga fanatic (still am).  Staying thin really didn't come easy (my daughter says I have the worst body image of anyone she's ever known) but I did it.  Until recently. . .

When I hit my 40's I started doing the "middle age" gig with the expanding ass, thighs and (gasp) belly flab not to mention the "weenis" that hung from my upper arms.  Damn it!!!  I became the Weight Watchers queen and lost 70 pounds the first time then 40 pounds the second time.  The third time I kind of gave up and got frustrated (come on, lil amigo, really?).

Throughout all of my life I have kind of looked at people in larger bodies with a "holier than thou" (sorry friends, just being honest here) attitude.  I didn't mean it, it just happened.  Of course, until the larger body became my reality.  Since January I have had a pretty intense thyroid condition and have put on a massive amount of weight.  Depression followed and then the feeling of despair and just giving up accompanied this darkness.

Ah, but there was a silver lining!  I scored a job out of the mess.  Yes, I got offered the job of teaching yoga to people in larger bodies.  There are always the people that show up for class that haven't read the class description and, when they see me, their teacher, they give me the look of "wow, YOU'RE the teacher?"  I pay them no never mind and just proceed with teaching my class (now) just the way it's designed (there was a class or two that I tried to cater to these advanced yogis and left my curvy students gasping for breath.  No more.  My curvy students come for "their" class and that's what they are getting).

This week I started Weight Watchers (again) in hopes of releasing some of this extra chub.  When I walked into the meeting, I felt suddenly like I was in a safe place.  Everyone there was just like me.  They were all trying to adopt a better way of eating so that they could feel healthy again.  I was home.  I'm adjusting to eating in a more controlled manner (depression has spun my eating habits out of control) and I feel better about myself already.  Will I stick to it?  I can't say but for today I say "yes".

So, to all of the many people over the course of my life that I have looked down on from my seemingly high and mighty skinny place, I say "I'm truly sorry and humbled by the journey that I am on.  I love you and have dedicated myself to helping any of you I can through yoga.  Please forgive me for my haughtiness."

Thursday, August 2, 2012


I have a new love.  He's amazing.  He takes me where I want to go and he does it with STYLE!  He's as handsome as can be and he never gives me any grief.

Okay, really, I just got a new car.  I've named him Herkimer.  Don't ask me where the flip I came up with that one but it just seems to fit.  Actually, I wanted to get a personalized license plate with his name on it but then everyone would know the car was mine and . . . quite frankly, being a "Weltz" in this town is not necessarily a good thing.  My boys have done quite a number on our family name.  Ahem!!

Anyway, Herkie (his nickname.  Isn't it cute?) is a RED turbo VW Beetle.  He's got a sunroof and a navigation system (because his driver is geographically challenged), tinted windows, bad ass wheels and his black dash is trimmed in red (because I really thought that would be amazing).  I love driving him a LOT.  He maketh me to smile exceedingly.

Brian came home from Sweden for a month and, when I picked him up from the airport, he asked if he could drive my car.  "HELL no!!"  He then asked Danielle and Robbie what the heck was up with Mom not allowing anyone to drive her car OR her truck and they both just gave him "the look."

You see, part of that Weltz reputation around this town has a wee bit to do with the boys (Brian's) driving "skills".  That's all I have to say about thaaaaaat.  This time I'm being very particular about my truck and car. I feel very grateful to have nice vehicles to take me, the twins and my ponies from here to there.

Actually, I let Danielle drive Herkie when we go to my yoga class on Monday nights because she gets car sick if she's a passenger and she drives him very carefully.  Of course, I'm riding shotgun and eagle eyeing everything she does (sorry D).

Yeah, Herkie and I are now a new couple.  We go together well.  Last week, in fact, when I parked him outside the studio that I teach at, the owner peeked out and said, "Wow!  I wonder who's cool bug that is." 

I smiled and said, "That's my car."

He then replied, "Hmm.  That car looks really nice outside of our studio."

Big smile!

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Homegirl's Homework

I have a very hard life.  That's all there is to it.  I just don't know how I do it.

I just finished my Restorative Yoga Teacher Training up in San Francisco last week.  The class was absolutely amazing.  It's funny, though, how so many of my peers seem to almost "worship" people that are "experts" in yoga or zoning or whatever.  That't just a side note.

Anyway, the week, as I said, was amazing.  I learned a lot and made some new friends.  While I was there I was happy.  Coming home wasn't such a joyous treat.  There were "issues" everywhere I turned but, once again, I don't need to visit areas that aren't as pleasant.

Judith, my teacher, gave us "homework" that, she said, was for the rest of our lives.  One of those tasks was to do at least 20 minutes of restorative yoga per day.  At first I was, "Um . . . Sweetie, you have NO idea how messed up my life is and how messed up that is for me to even BEGIN to wrap my head around."  (Actually, that's messed up of me to have that line of thinking.)  However, I was wise in not voicing that commentary out loud.  Well, being one of eighty people in the class would have made my voice virtually unheard anyway.

I took my homework seriously and have really strived to keep a spot in each day to settle in and do this.  I mean, it IS only 20 minutes, right?

Day 1:  I settle in and the house phone rings.  DAMN!!  I undo everything and go to answer as said caller hangs up.  I then get settled in again and the dogs go crazy and there's a knock at the door.  The PG&E dude wanted to put some smart meter on my house or something.  Whatever.  Go do your thing.  I'm busy here!  I get settled in for the third time and my cell phone (I forgot to put it on "airplane" mode) goes off.  I pull the eye bag off my eyes and notice it's Princess.  Well, no way in hell am I gonna ignore this call.  Okay, game over.

Day 2:  Done!  Pulled the house phone off the hook.  Told family I'm in "do not disturb" mode for 20 minutes and I put the cell phone on airplane mode.  I'm getting the hang of this quick!

Today would be Day 3.  I have a busy day lined up but I can do this!  Right?  You bet.  I mean, after all it IS homework . . .