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Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Trick or Sleep

I informed the twins this year that they were too old to go out trick-or-treating for Halloween. They both reluctantly took the news rather well, I thought. I was so happy to be finished with this ridiculous ritual. I've always HATED Halloween from the very depths of my soul.

Well . . . enter Brian. Fresh home from Idaho. He tells the twins that he's excited to take them out trick-or-treating this year. They tell him that Mom said "no". He jumps in the middle of my business and says, "what's wrong with you? Of course they are going out on Halloween. I'm taking them and you don't have to do anything." Hmmmm . . . that sounds pretty sweet. Okay deal!

He holds true to his promise and I proceed to enjoy my lovely quiet evening home (because in 15 years we have NEVER had a single trick-or-treater and I LOVE it!). Evidently, the story goes a bit like this . . .

Jacob is running to beat feet from one house to another. Jeff (who also went with the group) overhears a mother tell her 4 year old to not run because he might trip and fall. Right on cue, Jacob is running full speed ahead across someone's lawn and trips and does a complete face plant in the grass. Nice. He pops right back up and just keeps on going.

Courtney, after about six houses starts complaining that she's tired and wants to go home. Brian will have none of this (you see, Brian is highly motivated. He knows like he knows like he knows that Mom isn't about to let the twins have the candy so that means that him and Jeff are splitting the loot 50/50 - he's right, for the most part). He shakes Courtney off of his arm where she's hanging and begging to stop and tells her to get right back to work. She does.

When they arrive home around 9:30 Courtney can't wait to get to bed. Jacob wants to tell me all about the haunted house they visited and all the fun they had. I listen for a couple of minutes then remind him that 6:00 a.m. comes pretty dang early so he'd best be getting to bed. Off he goes. As soon as they are in bed, Jeff makes a run out to the car and comes in carrying something that resembles Santa's bag. Holy mackerel! I don't think I've EVER seen this much candy in one place. It's beyond disgusting!

The following morning as soon as the twins are safely off to school, the two go through the candy and divide it up. They did pack a few baggies of candy that the twins can have upon occasion. The rest? Well, I just don't even want to know. I'm so grossed out by all of this. The candy they gave the twins will probably last until this time next year, or beyond.

Well, we ALL agreed that this is absolutely the last flipping year that those kids of mine are going out on Halloween. So, I'd like to say, "GOOD RIDDANCE TO YOU, HALLOWEEN!"

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