If I could do it over again I would . . .

The sarcastic thing to write here would be "I wouldn't" but that's not entirely true. I would do a lot of the things the same. However, some of the things that would be different would be:

• Maintain a "cat free" life. Sorry to all those who love those little fur balls but they just don't do it for me.
• Teach and insist that my children work around the place. Expect them to participate in things like dishes, animal feeding, laundry and the like
• NEVER, NEVER, NEVER pay allowance to my children (only to me, lol). Everything MUST be EARNED (and, dang it, I earned it!)!!!
• have stayed in that affordable house that we bought when we got married. We'd own our home right now and be completely debt free!
• NEVER use a credit card. Oh, I'd have them for dire emergencies but I would NEVER use them for daily purchases. If you can't afford it, you certainly don't NEED it!
• have insisted that my children be home for dinner, family prayer, scripture study and FHE. These are important and somehow got kicked to the curb early on. Sigh.
• Have never EVER missed a date night with the love of my life.
• Allowed my children to enjoy their friends but then ALWAYS say "good night". Sleepovers are the bane of my existence!
• Have just left my family unit the way it is and not allowed my children to talk me into their "down and out" friends living with us. That one has shot me in the foot every single time.
• Have made my children buy their own vehicles, pay for their own gas, upkeep and insurance and allowed them to sweat it out on their own.

Oh, there's more but, like I said, a lot of things I would still do the same. I would still have married Mr. Wonderful, I would still love Pierre and Black Horse and I would still have ALL of my children. My life just wouldn't be perfect without each and everyone of them.

Regrets are a waste of time. I've learned from my mistakes and I'm just putting this out there for anyone who is just beginning their journey and might want to glean some wisdom from someone who is a little further along on their journey.

Slave Girl

Lately . . . . okay like forever, I was pondering how large my rear end has been getting and what I could do about it (as I was eating dessert and getting ready to sit in front of the computer for the evening).

I then was thinking of my sister and how hard she physically works at her job (she owns her own CSA farm and works way HARD all day long) and my high school buddy who also owns her own business and works way hard in a physical way as well. Hmmm. Both of these women are really healthy thin and have no probs keeping their weight there. What could be the secret? Duh!!!

Okay, so I just made out this massive chore list for your's truly. Yep, starting tomorrow I begin my new job - Home Slave! I'm in charge of EVERYTHING and am not allowed to sit down to the computer until the evening - not even to do bills. That's right. I need to be on the move constantly unless I'm driving the car to run some necessary errands - no recreational activities because my employer has no tolerance for that kind of thing.

I am, however, still allowing myself to do my yoga practice each day or take my riding lesson. Those are physical activities and they help me to stay grounded. That should be okay, right?

Some of my chores are washing all the vehicles, shoveling all the manure out of the paddocks, cleaning out the chicken coop, preparing the garden for winter, cleaning out the basement and making it look wonderful and the list goes on and on and on.

So here's to hoping that my rear end starts to decrease in size and that my ranch starts to look pretty spiffy in the process!

Silver Spoon

I'm really having a difficult time wrapping my head around the thought process of my boys. Both are jobless and both don't seem to give a rip. They mooch off their girlfriends and it doesn't seem to bother them one bit. I have nagged, begged and pleaded. I have threatened, black mailed and propositioned both of them. I have even gone so far as to offer to pay for each application they submit. Nope. Too good to get a job.

Robbie had a GREAT job earlier this year but gave it up because he wanted to hang out with his friends. Good one! Brian owes us more money than I can even begin to mention and doesn't seem to feel the least little bit of guilt about not working and paying anything back. So what's a mother to do? Good question.

When Skip and I were their age we both were working our tails off. I, at one point, had three jobs and worked around the clock a lot of days. While I don't really recommend that for anyone, something in that direction would be an improvement.

I'm going to put this out there . . . I have spoiled the living crap out of my kids. I have given them everything and am now reaping what I have sowed. I now have raised a couple of lazy no-good boys who will be of no good to any woman EVER!!! I want to apologize right here and now to their future wives. I'm so sorry. I have ruined your life by providing you with a loser husband that will never be able to provide for you because his only real known talent is operating a remote control from the couch.

I know work is difficult to find right now. However, sitting on the couch, driving around town with loser friends or sleeping most of the day is not going to improve the situation. So here's to me getting tough! Time to go out and kick some #$%!!!

Back to School!

I must say that THIS year above all other years EVER is the year that I am so flipping glad that school is now back in session. This summer has been . . . well, in a word, HELL. I know, I know, the twins are the only ones back in school and they are the only ones that haven't given me any grief. However, just having that routine back, just having two less people in the house to interact with is a real relief.

Funny story yesterday, though. I took Court to school and then went to my yoga class (Jacob was home with the rest of the kids). As I was driving home, I was thinking to myself about how nice this is that I can now have some time to myself. I was smiling at the fact that the only ones left home are the people that I don't have to be so "hands-on" responsible for. As I was coming up the driveway it almost startled me as Jacob came running out of the shop and towards the car yelling, "Yay! Mom's home!" For whatever reason, I had completely forgotten that I have Jacob glued to my side for two more days. Yikes! What the heck!?!?

Robbie and Brian are out job hunting (well, actually, just Robbie really is). I'll be so dang glad when those boys of mine have something to do during the day other than complain that I don't give them enough money or privileges. Demariea (who is also living with us) and Megan (Brian's girlfriend who is also living with us) are also looking for work. I must say that Meg and Rob get the prize for being the most proactive about finding work.

Okay, well back to the twins. Courtney is just thrilled to be back at school with all her friends. She seems to like her new schedule. Jacob starts back tomorrow and has told me like six different times this evening that I need to remember to wake him up tomorrow for school. Um, yeah Jacob, I think I'm getting it. Duh!!!

I've felt bad that we didn't have a summer vacation this year. Money and such just said "NO!" We were terribly busy getting the house ready for the market (check) and trying to get rid of as much stuff as possible with Craigslist and ebay. Those things coupled with teenagers raging out of control have kept us WAY busy.

So let's hear it for a wonderful year at school this year!

Thinner!

Okay, can you believe this picture? Yeah, that man on the far right is my husband many, many, many years ago. Like when about the time I started dating him. I think they are on the coast of somewhere beautiful like Cabo San Lucas or something (insert jealousy).

So as the years have gone by, both my husband and I have (ahem) expanded in stature. He, however, has managed to drop massive amounts (20 pounds or so) of weight in just a few short weeks (insert another round of jealousy) by just cutting back on what he eats and substituting a salad for many of his meals! Go him!!!

I have tried every eating regimen known to man and have only managed to continue gaining weight. I mean, if I EVEN ate what he eats now I would gain gobs of weight. So not fair, but I guess that's not what this blog post is about, right?

Bottom line . . . I'm proud of Skip. He is looking great and I know that he is feeling great. His snoring has almost disappeared (which makes me happy as well), he fits into his clothes (in fact, I'm guessing he's gonna need a wardrobe change pretty soon) and he's way healthier! Yes, yes and yes!

I love having a fit man and really would love it if he had a fit woman to match. If I could only find the secret to getting there . . .

Bye-Bye Billy

Sad day for me today. I got a text from Irene this morning that said, "hey you can not take lessons on Billy anymore unless you lease or give a deposit on him." Since I can't come up with the cash to buy this gorgeous animal, the writing is on the wall. I started crying and then went out, hooked up my trailer, loaded up Black Horse and took him down to take my lesson.

I had one of the best lessons ever today and almost forgot how much I love Black Horse. I know that I'm ready for a better, more advanced horse like Billy but it was so much fun to cut and rip around on my old friend.

Yes, I'm still sad. My heart hurts and hurt even more when one of the other girls in the barn was tacking him up to ride. I left the barn in tears but I guess that's just the way life is for me/us right now. I'll miss Billy but maybe someday, somewhere there'll be another gorgeous horse that I can call mine and learn to jump really high on. Right?

Gay Rodeo

I just couldn't let any more time pass without blogging about my weekend. I performed with our drill team at the Gay Rodeo up in Half Moon Bay. I won't post some of the funniest pictures I had on my camera because I don't want to offend some people (yes, I know it IS my blog but I still care what others think).

The top left picture is me loving on that beautiful mare of Brian's that I get to ride. The top right is our drill team! Yay! Bottom left is a funny license plate (22 Butch) that I couldn't resist. Bottom right is Brian posing with Ellie and I. I should actually post a picture . . . oh, I think I will right here . . . here's my Bri Guy getting ready to warm up Ellie (all dressed up her pink gear for our show) in a warm up ring with a bunch of gay guys. Bri was a super trooper but he DID get hit on a few times, lol.

Our team was very well received by these "super cowboys and super cowgirls". They LOVED our costumes (all sequins and sparkle) and they applauded us well when we performed.

Just before I went into the ring on Sunday one of the guys came up to me and told me that I had better watch out because one of the drag queens might want to steal my costume, lol. Too funny,

Oh, and one more thing . . . during the half time, before we went into the ring they had the grand entry. One of the trucks came in carrying a bunch of drag queens that were called the "Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence." These (ahem) gals/guys were TOTALLY garbed out in who knows what but it drew serious laughter from us.

Great day, great fun and, yeah, I had the BEST ground crew (Dave and Brandilyn on Saturday and Brian and Nancy on Sunday). My team even said so!

Day 10: Berkeley!

I snagged this photo collage from Brandilyn's blog. Sorry to those of you that read both of our blogs. However, our day in Berkeley was WAY awesome. Brandilyn and I like a lot of the same things which makes it even more magical.

On the top left is the WAY cool herb store we popped into. I wanted to move in and stay FOREVER! When I grow up, this is what I want to own. I totally mean it! They had gallon glass jars all up and down the wall on the left full of various herbs. They had books galore and some really cool other items that I just adored.

Another of my fave stores was the rock store. I know that that sounds funny but I like rocks! Not a lot of rocks just a few here and there that I put on my mommy's copper tray by my incense in my room. I enjoy looking at them and remembering the various places I got them (mostly at THIS rock store over the years). Anyway . . . WAY funny story here. While I was wandering through the store looking for THE rock, Brandilyn discretly pointed out to me that the owner appeared to be dipping out and hitting off of his "pipe" (yeah, I know, only in Berkeley, right?). Well, I finally picked out my rock and went up to the counter to ask him how much it is. He informed me it was $7. Ouch! I said, "I'll just set it here and think about it a minute." (thinking, "he'll probably take a few more hits off that pipe and change his tune").

Sure enough, he slipped out the front door again while I was finishing up with picking out my beads, etc. He came back in and the cashier trainee asked him again how much my rock was. He looked at me and said, "$3". (Hmmm. This is going quite well!) He then informed her that he sizes up his customer. Looks at her shoes, asks her where she's from, checks out her clothes and yadda, yadda, yadda. He then asked me where I'm from. "Livermore." He then says that that tells him I'm not local and probably won't be in again anytime soon. I then piped up and said that whenever I come to Berkeley I absolutely MUST come to this rock store and pick out a rock because it's my FAVORITE rock store. He say, "Favorite, huh? Well, then I say that this rock is free for you today!"

Yep! Free!!! Score me! I will ALWAYS and FOREVER treasure that rock (and fondly think of that magical pipe).

Yes, Berkeley is always full of fun surprises.

Day 9: Granny Day

I got to babysit Ava on Thursday! Yay, yay, yay!

This is the first time EVER! Ava is three and a half years old and this is the like the first time I've even been trusted. Okay, really, in Cory and Sarah's defense I do have to say that it is the first time that I've been asked (in a pinch) and I was totally able to do it.

I picked her up from her preschool - way cute. We went to Trader Joe's to grab some grub (cuz that's my favorite "fast food" joint) and we headed to the park to eat lunch. Ava and Courtney played at the park for about 1-1/2 hours and Ava came and sat down beside me and did this fake sleep act. I couldn't resist snapping the shot. She's such a character!

Somewhere in all of that I realized that we were supposed to pick up Jacob (well, meet his bus in town) and we quickly loaded up and dashed across town to discover that we were EARLY!! Hahahaha!!

The kids scored some slurpees at Target and evidentally Ava fell asleep in her daddy's car on the way home with her slurpee still not finished!

So this Grandma gig isn't half bad! Take them, spoil them and send 'em home all tanked up on sugar and fun! Yeah, baby! Now THAT'S what I'm talking about!

Day 8: Earth Day!

So on Wednesday (aren't I just a good girl? I saved all my pics and knew exactly what I was going to post when), Brandilyn and I ventured outside to plant the gardens around my place so that my house looked just fabby for the open houses that are this week. Thursday was the first one and we wanted everything to look just so. It felt so good to thrust our hands into the dirt and just work. So many cares just seemed to roll off our shoulders.

The weather was anything but desireable. Yes, I know it is the middle of August and we were out there in our sweatshirts and ear muffs planting. Everything turned out wonderful. We planted some plants int he bathtub by the shop. the gardens along the walkway up to my front door and then put those pots around the old wagon out by the road.

By about 8:00 we were FINISHED! We went to town, picked up the boys and went to In-n-Out (because there isn't one of those babies in Rexburg where Dave and Brandilyn live so they just love, love, love to go there when they are visiting!).

We were very proud of our work and beamed the next morning when our realtor showed up and said that everything looks just fabulous! Yay us!

Day 7: Billy

I think I've said this like a bazillion times before, but I just freakin love this horse. Billy makes me soooo dang happy.

Since I did a certain something to my ankle (cuz we aren't supposed to be negative here, right?), I haven't been allowed to jump. Today (which was actually Tuesday even though today is technically Friday), I got to jump - just a little. I was so amped! I even got giddy when Irene said that I messed up and had to do it all over again. Yee!!

Billy is super kind and him and I just . . . click. I know that sounds way corny but it's true. If I could find the money under my mattress or just about anywhere in the world, I would buy this beautiful animal and call him my own. Funny thing, though. Someday soon I just know that my wish will come true. It just has to! Until then, I hope that nobody else comes along and snags him because I just want to continue to enjoy him.

Thank you, Billy, for a wonderful ride. I love you.

Day 6: Wet Paint

I was pretty (ahem!) busy in town with Brandilyn most of today. We had lots to do. We got home about an hour before I had to leave for drill but I noticed that Dave had whipped the troops into shape, somewhat. They were all outside doing "something". There was a lot of work getting done.

I left for drill practice. Imagine my surprise when I came home and found that there were signs that said "wet paint" around the stairs that enter into our house from the garage. Dave had painted the stairs!

Thank you, Dave. Thank you for bringing my wonderful daughter out here for a visit. Thank you for just diving in and helping us get stuff finished. Thank you for just being a wonderful you.

Day 5: Sunday!

Once again, after a long busy and extremely emotional week, it was soooo nice to decide that Sunday we were OFF!!! Of course, going to church is nothing new for our family but it felt even sweeter this week. No cleaning, no packing and no worries about the house. Right?

We actually filled a whole pew and even spilled over into the one behind us! At one point I looked back at Demariea, Brian and Robbie all sitting behind us in the pew and they ALL had their cell phones out and were going to town with texting like crazy. Of course, heaven forbid if you should ever call them on this. They looked absolutely ridiculous. I mentioned it to Skip and he said, "Yeah, they are all texting each other!" Lol.

I really got a lot out of the talks this week. Brandilyn gave me "the look" because I typically don't go to Sunday School so I reluctantly went and really actually enjoyed myself.

When we got home from church, our realtor came up to take more photos so we had to do an emergency run of the house to put everything in order. Not an easy task. This makes me pretty scared for when we actually go on the market coming up on Thursday.

Yes, Sunday was a day of rest (somewhat) from our routine and from our cares of the world.

Day 4: Date Night

After busting my tail for the whole week cleaning and putting together our home for the market, it was such a sweet reward to get to go out to dinner with Skip on Saturday night. Brandilyn and Dave were just arriving into town from Rexburg and we all met at Chevy's.

The downside? (Even though I'm supposed to Happy Holly in these 10 days). Well, that would be the fact that I continually consider it my personal duty for consume as many chips with salsa as I possibly can. I DID have a salad, however, but it certainly didn't even come close to making up for all the chips that I ate.

Dinner was fabulous and the company was even more fabulouser. Being the party animals that we were, we all went home and turned in for a fairly early evening.

This was definitely the highlight of my Saturday. Thank you, Skip for indulging me even though you were VERY busy with your various duties and thank you, Dave and Brandilyn for coming out here to visit.

Day 3: Yoga

I LOVE yoga! I can pretty much say that yoga has saved me. I am much more grounded and centered because of my practice. I'm just so "off" when I miss my practice (and I've missed quite a few practices this week because of this dang house thing).

Of course, when I think of yoga, I so very often associate yoga with Gloria, one of my yoga teachers. I have gone on two retreats with her (one to Costa Rica and one to Belize) and am going to Thialand with her in October. She is so wonderful at helping us to really get in and experience each pose to the full potential. Going on retreat is an experience that is just beyond my most vivid imagination.

Laurie Gallagher, though, was my motivation to start the practice like 4 or so years ago. She was/is my friend. I was her visiting teacher when she lived in our ward in Livermore and she would so often talk about how much she loved yoga. I was intrigued and took one of her classes at the club where she occasionally taught. She then managed a studio that opened up (and closed shortly thereafter, much to our dismay) locally and I embraced the practice with all the fiber of my being. Since then, she is now the co-owner of Cosmic Yoga Dog here in Livermore. The studio is fab, the vibe is so very perfect and I just look so forward to almost every day showing up on my mat to practice.

Thank you, all of you, for opening up this wonderful world to me.

Day 2: My BFF's

Nancy and Brandilyn (yes, Brandilyn, even though she IS my daughter, I'm proud to say that she is also my BFF). Both of these girls are my rock! Yesterday (when I SHOULD have posted this) they were there for me when I was having a pretty rough time and was hysterical in tears. They both listened, without judgement, and just gave me what I needed the most. LOVE!

Brandilyn always makes me feel like I'm talking to someone really safe. She was a butt when she was younger but she has more than made up for the grief that she caused me. It makes me love her all the more when she says she's sorry for the trouble I'm going through right now.

Then, last night for like 4 hours or so, Nan went shopping with me to help me get the stuff I was assigned to purchase for the staging of our home. She allowed me to vent about my issues. By the end of the evening, I was pretty much back to my ol' joking around self.

While we were in Marshalls (a store I really don't like but Nan swears by), Nan was very intently looking at some stuff for MY house. I, being me, became bored and started wandering around (like a little kid). I started picking up some random, really radical junk, and casually walked back up to her. When she looked up at me, she started laughing and said, "What the heck are you doing?" It felt good to start letting go of the troubles that keep wanting to bestow themselves on my shoulders of late. We then went out to dinner at Baja Fresh and I went home feeling a little bit lighter.

Thank you, both of you, for your love and patience while I'm going through this stuff. I love you both so much!!

Day 1: Pony Express

Since I seem to have been in a serious downer for the last like 11 months, I decided that it would be good for me to start seeking the positive and zero in on that for a bit. For the next 10 days I'm going to seek something positive and wonderful in my life each day, take a picture of it, and blog about it. Sorry if that sounds boring to you, but it IS my blog and I'm the one that needs the lift.

My NEW horse trailer makes me happy. Really happy. Skip bought this little beauty with the help of Brandilyn and Dave (mostly Dave) and brought it home with him when he came home from Idaho with Brian.

It's a two horse slant with a HUGE tack room. No, I mean H U G E tackroom. I could even sleep in there if I wanted (kidding, I wouldn't really sleep in there unless I HAD to).

My babies seem so much happier too. They load without any fuss and can turn around and just jump out when we have reached our destination. We are all just happy little campers.

The downside (if there has to be one)? I have to sell my old one. It's not really that big of a deal. I have to put it on Craigslist as soon as Skip gets me the pink so I can be intelligent about the year, etc. Robbie already cleaned it up and it's good to go.

So there you have it . . . Debbie Downer found her first thing to be excited about, lol.

The Neglected Blog

Dear Blog:

I've been avoiding you lately. Oh, yes, I've bopped in here and there to see if I had anything positive to say to you but, nay, it was not to be. Life just hasn't handed me much to be uplifted about.

However, I have been pondering a lot and have come up with a couple uplifting diddies to share with you. They are (in no particular order - okay, well maybe the first one is my fave):

• Brandilyn called and her and Dave are coming next week. Kiyiyippieyiyay!! I'm so stoked. My life has just been kind of a downer lately with all the stuff that this just brightened my day yesterday.
• Jasmine and her family did FHE yesterday in our garden. Of course, we split the produce but it made my heart happy to see her little family out there weeding and harvesting.
• Skip brought my new horse trailer home from Idaho and I just love it! It's so much nicer to work with than the old brown one.
• We listed our home Friday night with the realtor (I have mixed feelings about this but I'm gonna put it on my happy list to show that I'm trying to be positive)
• I spent the afternoon with Nan Saturday looking at property and areas up east of Sacramento. Didn't find a whole lot I love but it was nice to spend the day with my friend.
• Still trying to convince Skip that I love Arizona and want to be near Julie. So far it's a no-go but, then, you never know. Right?
• My garden is starting to pump out some pretty righteous produce. Yay!
• I sold a few things on Craigslist
• Did I mention that Brandilyn is coming in a week?

There you have it, my lovely blogspot. I do miss you and I'm grateful that I can still easily tap into Brandilyn's blog from here. I promise that I will do my best to look for positive things in my life to write about. Oh, I just rememebered something funny that happened the other day . . .

My brother, Barry, called me and we were talking awhile on the phone. I was sharing some stuff that I'm not sharing here and he finally said, "Wow, your life sounds pretty rough right now." I affirmed what he had said as I was fighting back tears. He then burst into loud laughter and said, "Hey Jody, you NEED to put all this in your Christmas letter so that people will see that you really are a normal person and that you really do have rough days. Bahahahaha!!!" Well, HE got a good laugh out of that and I have to admit it was kind of funny. Will I do it? Probably not but it IS tempting!