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Thursday, February 12, 2009

Courtney

She came into my life 4-1/2 years ago, 6 years old. She was a little sunshiney, sweet girl and I was happy to accept her into our family. She has grown on me and I now think of her as "my daughter." And why shouldn't I? My husband and I adopted her AND her twin brother, Jacob.

Life didn't really give her a fair shake at first. She had a tough start and ended up in the foster care system which is not the easiest life. She faired pretty well, we thought. What amazed me was that she had been handed a raw deal and seemed to be a sweet girl in spite of it.

I'm not going to say that we haven't had bad days with Courtney, because we have. She has done her fair share of "naughties" and has had to be disciplined. She happens to be pretty lazy by nature and that just really rattles my cage. Anyone who knows me knows that I am anything but lazy!

The other day we were hiking up in the hills, her and I. We came across a beautful meadow with some huge rocks at the edge of it. It was a sunny day and she went running across the meadow with the wind blowing her pretty blonde wavy hair and yelling, "Mommy, look! Over there are some rocks. Let's go see if the Indians left holes in them!" It was a vision right out of a "Sound of Music" movie. I will not ever get that memory out of my head.

So now we have today. She is struggling with something. I don't know what it is but there are some changes that we are having trouble dealing with. Our sweet little innocent girl is reaching puberty and now the darkness from the past is here to greet her again. I know she will get through this. We are seeking outside help to ensure that she does get through this.

I am left here wondering how is it possible that people are allowed to hurt children in this way? Why is that even something that we have to deal with in our world? I have a lot of anger toward the individual/s that have done this to our child and I know that I need to let it go. I need to allow God to handle this in HIS way - justice is HIS job, not mine. My job is to love her through the storms in her little life and love her I will.

So tonight as I say my prayers, I will thank Heavenly Father for the opportunity to be able to make a difference in these two little lives that have been sent to join our family. I will also ask for the strength and wisdom to help my children weather the storms in life and grow up to be the awesome individuals that they are all capable of being.

After all . . . I am their mother!

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