In With the Old

It's funny. I buy things, sometimes, because they seem like a good idea at the time. Then, when I get home I put them away and they stay there. Sometimes FOREVER! Sad but true. I guess that means I'm a compulsive shopper. Not good.

Okay, so I was sitting at my desk last night, looking off toward the bookshelves and thinking about stuff that's on my mind. This book just jumped out at me! I walked over, pulled it out and I simply haven't put it down! It's a cookbook but it's so much more! It's full of pictures (really good pictures), information, stories and (oh my gosh!) really great recipes. It's inspiring and addicting! What was I thinking? I hardly even remember buying this book!

So then there's the horse sweaters that have been hanging in my closet for, I don't know how long. I know they were gifts that I have received but I just never get around to putting them on. Well, lately they have become my most treasured pieces of attire. I wear them constantly! I mean, I looked in the closet for something to wear and there they were! Like I have never seen them before.

Now I have to wonder how many other treasures are lurking around my house for me to re-discover . . .

"Good Day. Sunshine!"

It was not just a good day. It was a freakin fabulous day! Nothing spectacular happened but it was just great. I think I'm just so happy when the sun is shining.

• I took a yoga class which always elevates my mood
• I went and saw my bestie, Neener, and we had tea and browsed through books at Barnes and Noble. Then, we went and sat out in the sun in her backyard. Totally blissful.
• Came home and took a short wee little snooze
• Took the pups up to the park for a run (Pierre had to stay on the leash, duh)
• Came home and rode my sister's bratty horse (which was pretty well behaved today after I tuned on his happy butt pretty good the other day)
• Drove down the hill and watched the drill team practice - uh, yeah, I'm thinking I just might join this group of ladies and enjoy some more horsie time
• Came home and snuggled with Pierre

Pretty great day. Tomorrow is supposed to rain like heck and I think it's about time I buckled down and got some responsible indoor things accomplished. Grrr.

Non Attachment

This is Brian on Ellie. We have had Ellie since she was like 5 years old (whe's 12 now) and he absolutely loved his mare and showed her for about three years. She's athletic, fun and has a really silly personality. I adore the mare too.

Here's the rub. Economic challenges as well as the fact that there just aren't many people left in my home that ride horses (there's just me) make it necessary to downsize substantially. Today someone is coming to look at her. My heart is breaking.

So, when Neener and I went out to lunch a couple of days ago, we talked a lot about non-attachment to, well . . . everything. We, especially as Westerners, are so "attached" to our stuff. Unfortunately, that includes our animals. I thought I was a pretty good candidate for someone who would be able to go and live in a society that practices the law of consecration. You know, where everything belongs to everybody. And, maybe I am. I mean, if Ellie could belong to the community I belong to it wouldn't hurt so damn bad, right?

Nevertheless, I have to accept what is. What is right now is the fact that there is the distinct possibility that in a couple of hours she will no longer be my horse and I will never see her again. My tears and my heartache can't pay the bills and I have to do what I have to do.

Yup, I need a lot of work on this non-attachment thing.

Good Day

What does it feel like to have a good day? Well, about a week ago I would have been pretty sarcastic (well, okay, most of the time I'm pretty sarcastic but I would have been MORE sarcastic) and said something to the effect of "how the heck would I know? I don't remember having one of those in like FOREVER!"

Today - different story. Took a pretty sweet yoga class with Mollie this morning - well, actually the little darling kicked my royal happy butt with her smiley, cute little Mollie face saying something like, "This is going to be a real arm and core strengthening day!" At any rate, after Siavasana I was pretty blissed out.

I then went and visited a friend for a spell and then high tailed it over to P-town and had lunch with one of my favoritist peeps EVER!!! Neener!!! We went to TJ's and scored some salads and sparkling water and headed to a park and just sat in the grass and talked and snarfed up those yummy salads.

Usually Neener (okay, her real name is Stephanie but I've always called her Neener) and I go on some pretty intense gut and butt busting hikes but my sweet friend fell on the ice in Alaska and totally did a bad number on her ankle. She's laid up for quite awhile.

What's cool about Neener is that we can talk about stuff that we can't seem to talk to other peeps about. Really deep stuff. It's a friendship that I treasure and am going to be super duper sad when she moves back to Colorado in two weeks.

After lunch, I picked up Court from school and came home. I went right to my room for a "20-minute power nap" that kinda turned into a 45 minute deal. Oh well. I then headed to the barn, saddled up Ellie and rode.

Time on the mat. Time with my bestie. Time to take a snooze. Time in the saddle. Good times = good day.

Mirror Mirror Off the Wall

Every morning, same story. "Come on, Courtney, let's get going. Hurry up, Courtney, we're gonna be late. Courtney, life is passing you by, let's go!" Yup, same stuff, different day. I've even taken her to school "as is". You know, hair in a bad mess all over the head or a half dressed child (decent but mostly in pajamas). Nothing seemed to get through.

Funny thing is, is that when you slip by her room and peek in, she's just sitting there staring into the wardrobe mirrors on her closet. She's not doing much except just looking at herself. When I asked her what that was all about, she said that she just likes looking at herself. Um, okay . . .

Enter Brandilyn with a smart idea. She was visiting last week and she said, "Mom, why don't you just take the mirrors off the closet?" Uh, why didn't I think of that? Duh!!!

Mirrors off. Everyday this week Courtney has been ready BEFORE me! It's a miracle! Wow!!! No more nagging. No more stress about getting out the door anymore. Mornings with her and I are going pretty well, thank you very much!

Now . . . how do we deal with the homework issue?

Door Mat

Tik tok, tik tok, tik tok.

Me: Uh, Babe, you need to get going. You're going to be late for class!
Him: Mom! Quit hasseling me! I know what I'm doing.
Me: I just wanted to let you know that you should have left like 10 minutes ago!
Him: I'm so sick of you nagging me. Can you just quit?

He exits. Door slams. Car starts. Loud booming of music playing.

15 minutes go by . . .phone rings.

Him: Mom! I'm almost out of gas and I lost my wallet yesterday while I was dirt biking. What should I do?

Me: Hmm. Well . . . go to the church and get to class and then I'll meet you at the gas station when I come down into town.

Him: Can't you just meet me at the gas station BEFORE you take Courtney to school?

Me: I'll see you at the gas station.

Smiling as I do the breakfast dishes, fold a load of laundry, go check my hair, go apply some make-up, check my e-mail, update my Facebook status, get the dog ready for his appointment, fill my water bottles, etc., etc., etc. Oh my! Look at the time! Come on Court, we don't want to be late for school!

At the gas station 1 hour 45 minutes later . . .

Me: (texting) Pull up to the tank, I'm here

Rob: Thanks Mom, I love you!

Me: (sliding the card through the slot on the gas pump) Love you too! (as I walk away)

Think about THAT before you treat me like a door mat again, buddy!!

I Can Do This!

I don't feel good and it's just my own dog gone fault. I have a sore throat and a nasty cold coming on. I haven't been sick for more than two years and here I am feeling like crap. I asked for it, though. I went to Disneyland with the kids last week and ate crap. So . . . I guess you are what you eat, right?

Well, I'm back on the wagon again this week. I am drinking my green smoothies, eating my salads and really trying to pump those raw whole foods down my screaming sore throat. What sucks the mostest about this whole thing is that Brandilyn and Dave are here for the week and I really wanted to enjoy them. Brian flies in tonight and, well, you know how high energy that boy can be! Yikes, I'm really in for it.

So, yup, this is me putting on a happy face and summoning my "can do" attitude. The sun is shining this morning and I'm going to make this a great day!

Bad Mommy!!!

I think I should feel bad but, really, I don't. Courtney has been on me like crazy lately about the Easter Bunny and really hoping that he would bring her lots of "gum and candy and toys and treats" (a term that is commonly used by our family). I informed her that Easter Bunny doesn't come to our home (come on, she IS 12 years old, after all) because we ALWAYS leave for vacation for Easter break. Right now we are in Anaheim (where the earth is shaking like crazy, btw) so that I can take the little angels to Disneyland this week. Somehow, that doesn't seem good enough for her. Last year we were in Mexico, the year before that we were on a cruise and the year before that we were in Australia. Really? Shouldn't that be a really cool replacement?

Okay, so today is Easter. Happy Easter everyone! We've had a chill day (because Sunday is always a chill day for our family). Still she has persisted about how it sucks that she didn't get anything. We had to dip into the grocery store for a couple of items so that I can prepare dinner tonight and she saw all the Easter crap out and started really trying to draw my attention to the baskets, bunnies, candy etc. I didn't cave (yay, for me, I guess).

So, here's the rub. Should I just buy the Disney tickets and say "Happy Easter" as I serve them their tofu lettuce wraps for dinner? Yeah, I know, I should be making ham or some other big fancy dancy dinner but really the thought of that repulses me.

Well, whatever it ends up to be, here's where I stand . . . Tuesday when we are walking into the Disney park I'll say something to the tune of "Wow, you could have had a fancy Easter basket or this. Glad you guys are good with this." Maybe that will help her to change her perspective.

Jacob? Yeah, that boy is just a cruiser on stuff like this. He just rolls his eyes at his sister. He's just so happy to be hangin with "mom". Thank you, God, for twins that are 180 degrees from each other!!!

Better Day

Last night I cried on my friend's shoulder. I was just at my wit's end. Stuff in life just seemed to big to handle and I just wanted it to all go away. I'm almost embarassed at how upset I was but then, I guess, that's what our bestest girlfriends are for, right?

It's great what a good night's sleep will get you.

I woke up this morning and felt ready to go (I overslept and didn't get up till like 7:00). The twins and I went for a stellar hike before the rain settled in. We came home and organized, had quiet time (i.e. Mom needs a nap time), and packed for our trip to Disneyland (we leave tomorrow morning). Jacob didn't have summer clothes that fit so we did a field trip to town and scored him some threads. He's stoked.

There was another problem with one of my children that snagged my attention and I jumped in the middle of it. I stayed on it like a dog with a bone and was able to come up with a plan for my boy. I'm feeling good about the outcome.

This evening, I feel good. I feel like things have brightened up a bit and I'm looking forward to our trip south tomorrow. Yup, I'm so grateful that things come to pass.

A New Start

This has been a pretty rough school year for Jacob. He has struggled so much.

With a few pivotal events taking place last fall (namely his brother, Brian, leaving for school), Jacob has continually spiraled downward. Suspension has been a regular word in our vocabulary, as of late. Then, with the presence of a new agency in our life (ahem), things have just even gotten worse.

Finally, after another rough day this week I had decided enough is enough already! I caved. I'm so over being in denial. My child and I need help. No way around it.

Enter, Tobinworld. I went and toured the school yesterday with Nan and came to the realization that this was a perfect fit for my boy. When I came home and showed him the DVD about the school, he became excited as well. He spent the whole evening last night walking around with this folder that he has in the picture.

After the Easter break, Jacob will be starting a new school. The van comes to our home and picks him up and carries his happy little self off to school. They deal with his stuff there and don't call me every time Jacob is having a melt-down or an "episode."

I'm happy. Jacob is happy. Skip is happy. The school district is happy. It is a win-win situation, I think. Check them out on-line (http://www.tobinworld.org/)!