Lotus Spa

I love cruises.  I really do.  I love food.  I love new places.  I love doing much of nothing and being a fat cat.  It's the good life but it DOES come to an end eventually.

One of my favorite indulgences is the Lotus Spa.  We go up there and score on massages, facials and the like.  I'm a massage junkie so this is definitely a high point for me.  I do my share of foot, face and back zones to barter for amazing massages on a regular basis at home but here, I get to pay a FAT amount of dough to bliss out.

When you first waltz into this place on the ship they thrust a clipboard with a questionaire in your lap and instruct you to fill it out.  It has things like "concerns" and little boxes to check.  You know . . . weight gain, lethargy, cellulite, etc. etc. (check, check, check).  Then the cute little darling come along and escorts you to your massage room.

On one occasion, she says, "I see here that you have concerns about weight gain and cellulite and .... I wanted to let you know that we have treatments that can help you with these problems.  You can book an appointment with a specialist and they will help you find things you can apply that will help these problems disappear."

I gave the little sweetie a "look" and then informed her, "My issues are not caused by some random cruel act of God.  They are not going to go away by putting magical potions on my skin.  No, my issues are a result of me not gaining control of the fork to mouth action.  My issues are caused by to much input and not enough output (exercise)."  I think my honesty blew her away.  I further informed her that learning to exercise a lot of self control and applying the "Mind over Platter" theory into my life and pushing myself to move my bum more would give me the desired results.  Sorry, babe, no sale here for your magical products.

Then, letting her know that I was here purely to gain an hour or so of relaxation - nothing more, shut her down.  I know their job is to sell, sell, sell but honestly that is a big turn off and kills the whole motivation of my being there.  I must say that to Skip's and my credit we did amazing this time around.  We did not buy ONE product from them and we feel pretty good about that.