Meditation and Frogs

My new time and space to meditate is outside early in the morning as the sun is just beginning to make a small amount of light.  I like to light my incense, white candle and face east while holding the chosen stone(s) of the day.  It's a gorgeous start to my day.


Friday while I was doing just that, I was completely checked out and in my zone.  Finally the noise became more persistent and I snapped out of my trance and became aware that my little Pierre (he's a  Pomeranian/Yorkshire terrier mix - super cute) was making the most awful noise.  I'm all, "wtf?" and jumped up quickly (breaking my beloved lemurian crystal in half).  I thought he had a frog in his mouth (because they have been terrorizing this poor frog that has been hanging out in my zen garden for a couple weeks now) so I went over and turned him over only to realize that he was having some sort of a seizure. 


I scooped my little precious pup up and went in the house and put him on his poof thinking that he was going to die any minute.  I called out to my partner who also came and began stroking him and saying calm things.  My partner then asked if there was chance he could have got bitten by a rattler or scorpion.  I grabbed my cell phone and ran outside with the flashlight app on to investigate.  There was only a very scared looking frog there. 


He grabbed his iPad and began research.  He informed me that frogs were dangerous to dogs and could be fatal to little dogs.  We called emergency and off little Pierre went.  $250 later, he was home and showing signs of a full recovery.  As for the frog?  Well he is actually a Colorado River Toad (my bad) and emits a very toxic substance from the bumps on his back when provoked.  Since Pierre had picked him up with his mouth to carry him to a convenient spot to torture the creature, I'm guessing the toad considered this as being provoked. 


When I went back outside to collect the victim/perpetrator to re-home him (or her) in the wash behind our home, he/she was gone.  MIA.

Desert Girl

I haven't posted in forever.  My life took a serious bad dip and I was too busy hosting my pity party to really take care of anything.


We sold our home in California and moved to Arizona.  I haven't been here long and I resisted the move as much as I could.  My partner was kind and allowed the two of us to explore a lot of options of where we could live and he could still work for the next 4-5 years or whatever.  When the time came that there was no longer time, we ended up here.  It's growing on me and I'm beginning to make friends.


One area that I'm having to start over in, amongst many, is finding a spot to teach yoga and finding students that are willing to give a person my age a shot.  How do you convey to people that you ARE a good yoga teacher and that my classes ARE enjoyable?  You have to show them.  So, I popped into the local studio in town, took a few classes and struck up a convo with the owner.  Bless her heart, she is letting me sub classes here and there and it's just going to take some time.


I'm learning humility and patience.  I'm learning to slow down and enjoy everything.  I'm learning that taking care of myself is the most important job I have.  I'm learning that giving and giving and giving was one of the most destructive things I could ever have done to myself.


I'm happy here.  I'm really enjoying the alone time while my partner finishes up the year working in California.  I'm seriously enjoying our new life together without our kids.  I love those babies of mine more than anything but letting go and allowing them to live their lives without my micro management has been the best medicine for all of us.


So, I'm off to go take another yoga class and create some yogi friendships. 

Let's Start Legging Up!

In the horse world that means to start getting into shape.  I've become quite slothful in that arena of my life and the buck needs to stop here, lol.


For the last 27 years I have carried the title of "mother" and "wife".  Recently I've added "zoner" (which I've spent an exorbitant amount of money on only to discover that there's no desire for my services as an energy healer.  Still trying to determine how or why I was prompted to follow that dead end but whatever) and yoga teacher (I resonate with this one).  I feel I'm ready to add "Jody" to that list and quit doing my life and begin living it.


So besides the obvious physical aspect of getting ready for my adventure in 2016, I need to get a lot of other items checked off my list:


1.  Start exercising and hiking on a daily basis again CHECK
2.  Quit smoking (wait . . . I don't smoke . . . nvm) CHECK (I think I just like having another check)
3.  Start researching the logistics of this trip i.e. what to pack, how much $$, ideal hike months etc.
4.  Begin transitioning fuel intake to quality grub (might just be the hardest part here)
5.  Abandon my evil ways (no details given here).


Today I hiked in the hills where I live.  Although my ankle was screaming and begging me to stop (I'm pretty sure he was the spokesperson for the rest of my body), I kept going and logged about 4 miles on.  Not too bad, I guess.  I made sure the course was riddled with plenty of steep hills.


So #6 on my list might be to see if I can convince Mr. Weltz to go on some two day hiking trips with me.  I'll sweeten the deal by suggesting we bring the horse trailer with a nice comfy bed to lay ourselves in at the end of the day (oh, and a double bonus would be NO KIDS!!). 


And she's off!!!

On "The Way"

There are times when you make a goal and then have to commit to that goal by telling someone your intention.  I told my sister, my mom and a few family members and now I'm saying it in this sort of public place. 


Right now is the heaviest and most unhealthy I have ever been in my life.  And THAT'S including the years I was a cigarette and pot smoking, alcohol guzzling balls-to-the-wall party animal (that was SO last week, lol).  I've let go of caring about myself amidst a pommeling of injuries, kid problems, financial challenges and various other obstacles.  Depression was starting to become all too familiar to me.  I have become a junk food consuming couch potato (seriously?)   I want to be so finished with all of that and move in the direction of happiness and self love again.


For the next however long, my blog will be predominantly about my goal.  I'm motivated, dedicated and quest for the best (stole that from my Weight Watcher leader of yesteryear). 


So here it is . . . a fellow yogi suggested I watch the move "The Way" on Netflix.  I did (highly recommend) and it has changed my life.  I have always been a bit of a dreamer and outside-of-the-box kind of girl.  The summer of 2016, when the twins are 18 and no longer my responsibility, I will be taking at least 6 weeks away from my life and traveling to France to walk The Way.  It's about a 500 mile journey from France to the Atlantic Ocean in Spain.  It is said to take about 4-5 weeks, depending on how many miles you log on each day.


This is my quest.  This is my "pilgrimage" (word they use to describe the journey).  This is personal and I'm determined.  Whether I make this journey alone or with a companion, I don't know or care at this point.  I have a LOT of work to do to prepare myself in every way. 


Wish me luck!

A Truck Called Happiness

Last night I had a dream that kept going and going and going . .



I had a boyfriend named Gary (wtf?).  He let me use his vintage yellow pickup truck to pickup kids from school or whatever.  I parked the truck on a street and hoofed it from there to wherever I was going.  I came back and couldn't find the truck.  Thus began my search.



I found Danielle and a bunch of family having fun camping.  There were tents and campfire and fun everywhere.  I told her I was looking for Gary's truck and she told me to be quiet because the baby was sleeping.  I found the keys lying in a stack of clothes.  Yay!  Still, though, no truck.



I ended up driving on a crazy obstacle course with gardens and waterfalls and all sorts of nature things and was so concentrated on getting through the course so that I could go look for the truck.  The people in the car with me were yelling at me to slow down and be careful.  I even was on a downhill road and hit 95 mph (yeah, that's fast for me).  I was determined to finish this task so that I could get back to finding the truck.



Then I ended up at a massive outdoor party on a big ranch that Mary Wolf was throwing.  I was so frustrated with getting through all the people that were asking me to stop and visit awhile.  I needed to find that damn truck!  Mary even came out with some targets and guns and was excited that there was going to be target shooting.  She said, "Come on, Jody, it's going to be loud and fun!!"  Nope.  I wasn't going to stay.  I needed to find the truck.



At one point I was in my 64 Plymouth Fury that I owned when I was 16 years old (yep, bought that baby for $350 back then!).  I was just pissed off because the car would barely run and I wanted to get where I had to get quickly.  Then, Skip was sitting in the passenger seat of another car with me and telling me to drive more careful. I blew right through one of those gates that come down at like a toll bridge.  Nice. 



Guntzy (actually her name is Joanne Gunter) who died in 1998 was in my dream as well helping me find the truck.



So, I woke up this morning and was "wtf was THAT?"  While I was sitting in meditation it became pretty clear to me. . . .



I rush and rush and rush through my whole life looking for happiness (the yellow truck, duh).  I never stop to really enjoy where I am and what I'm doing.  Happiness is not a thing or a place.  Happiness is the moment.  Enjoying a pretty righteous cup of coffee or an amazing glass of wine or a playful moment with your grandchild. 



We have had our home on and off the market now for about four years.  We have had our "stuff" in storage for most of that time in order to stage the house.  All I've done is bitch and gripe for these years and be pissed off because we can't move on with our lives.  Honestly, I wish I could go back and enjoy the time I've had here.  I have a great house. 



Moving forward, I hope that I can remember to enjoy more moments to their fullest and just "be" where I am instead of consistently in search of the next best thing.  I read a goofy saying on Facebook awhile back and I think it applies to every aspect of life . . .



"Oh that I could weigh as much as I did the first time I thought I was fat."

Days Like This

Today is a good day.  It's Sunday (yay), sunny (yay), warm (yay) and quiet (double, triple yay) at the compound today.  Danielle and Jeff are off doing something.  Robbie is out dirt biking with his buddy and Skip just left for Canada for the week. That just leaves Courtney and I here.  Sundays and Fridays are my days off so I really strive to make NO plans for those days and just enjoy them.  Today feels especially golden.

I was just outside working.  Birds are chirping and the day is just warm enough to feel amazing but not too hot.  Nobody is bothering me (well except Courtney asking me random questions).  Everything feels great.  Inside I have my quiet meditation room (aka Bitch Cave) that I plan to slip into in a bit and enjoy as well.  Yes, I'm in love with this day.

Of course, a day like this gives me pause to reconsider whether I really want to move from here.  I can list a LOT of reasons why I don't want to live here on the compound anymore.  Another day they would be big and valid.  Today, they seem so insignificant. 

A day like this brings me back to what I consistently teach in all of my yoga classes:  Bring your attention to this breath, this moment, right now. 

So, for now, I'll just feel the greatness of now.  Tomorrow or another day will bring with it whatever it brings.  I'm sure this moment will pass into another moment that might not be as zen. 

Jai!

Slow Down

Thursday night I bopped into the studio to teach my Stretch & Release class.  Same class I usually teach there but on a whole different night.  This was to be my first night teaching this class on Thursdays so I wasn't expecting a big crowd. 

My boss (and friend) was still there saying "good bye" to her students and finishing up administrative stuff as my class was coming in.  A young woman blasted in the door with her mat in hand and seemed to be on a mission as she was heading for her "spot" in the studio.  Cool.  Obviously she heard someone else conversing with me and got the heads up that I was the teacher.  She looked at me, sized me up (okay, I'm a larger middle aged woman) and said, "you the teacher for this class?"

"Yep, I am!" (with my bestest smile).

"What kind of class is this?" (obviously from her assessment of me it wasn't going to be what she came for, but then I already knew that from the way she was bustling in and the stressed out, maxed out look on her face).

"This is a deep stretch class."

"Oh, I was looking for a more intense workout.  I'll come back another time."

"Okay!" (with my bestest smile AGAIN!)

My boss heard this interaction and intercepted Miss Full Throttle as she was heading out the door.  She told her that she was twice her age and for her to stop and just listen to wiser, older person for just a second.  The young dynamo did (to my surprise).

Gloria (my boss) said, "There will always be opportunities for you to push yourself to the max in a class.  There will always be teachers that are willing to offer a class that takes one to their full potential.  However, slowing down and taking a nice stretch class and taking care of yourself is equally important.  Jody here, is our guru and I don't think you will be disappointed if you stay.  I mean, look, you already are here, you've already carved this time out of your busy day and you already have your mat."

The young woman did stay.  I soon realized that she was VERY tight and not flexible at all.  I worked with her (my class was small) and assisted her in a lot of our melting and stretching poses.  She kept saying, "wow, I really need this" several times over throughout the class.

At the end of class as everyone was leaving she came up to me and said, "I'm so glad I stayed.  That was an amazing class.  I'll definitely be back next week.  Thank you so much."

And THAT is why I love to teach a nice sweet stretch class.  Everyone needs to slow down and take time out to just take care of themselves.  Something our culture seriously lacks.